The Hideout I Need

Chapter 36: Sleepover

"I have to admit, this wasn't exactly what I imagined when we agreed you were gonna stay the night," Tae-young said, lying in his bed as he stared at the ceiling.

"What's different than what you expected?" Hyeong-jun asked, seemingly content with everything happening at the moment.

"Well, for starters, I imagined you'd be up here with me," Tae-young sat up, looking down at Hyeong-jun lying on the floor.

The two had previously talked about having a sleepover. That shit sent Hyeong-jun into a spiral. He was nervous because if he had learned anything from dramas, it's that "overnight stay" is code for "we're about to have sex for the first time". Obviously, he knew that that wouldn't happen and that he was overthinking it. But the thought scared Hyeong-jun anyway. They had barely been together for a month!

It wasn't like he didn't want to. There were definitely moments like the one time they were at Won-jin's summerhouse at the beach... no, don't think about that. He shook his head, trying to rid the thoughts. Nevertheless, he definitely didn't want to yet. And not even just that, but just sharing a bed, in general, scared him. Being so close to someone... it seemed so frightening.

Honestly, many parts of the relationship scared him. He had no idea what to do or how to act. Tae-young used to be in a long-term relationship with someone, but Hyeong-jun hadn't even confessed his feelings to anyone before he met Tae-young. What if he ended up messing something up? What if Tae-young ended up missing what he had before? That was probably his biggest fear.

"Oh, what do you mean? I'm comfortable down here... on the... on the floor..." Hyeong-jun sat up and patted the ground, however it made a thud. You know, because it's the floor and not a bed. He had an awkward smile plastered on his face.

"I don't mind sharing the bed if you're just trying to be a good guest. If anything you should have the bed and I'll take the floor."

"No, no, that's not it!" Hyeong-jun said frantically as Tae-young started getting off the bed.

"Then come up here and join me," Tae-young chuckled, not knowing why Hyeong-jun was acting the way he did.

Hyeong-jun looked visibly frustrated. Long before the two of them got together, he would often imagine the two of them sharing a bed and the thought would never fail to make his heart flutter. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around Tae-young as he would drift off to sleep. But now that it was a reality, he felt nervous. He didn't know why he was so scared, but he couldn't help but stutter, "I... uh..."

Tae-young couldn't help but notice the distraught look on his boyfriend's face. He could tell he was nervous about something and he suddenly felt guilty for poking fun at him. He slowly got out from under the covers and got off the bed. He sat down across from Hyeong-jun, sitting on top of the comforter he brought with him to the floor.

He softly took his hands and held them in his own, and gave a soft smile, "Hyeong-jun, is something bothering you?"

"N-no! I'm fine," Hyeong-jun put on an awkward smile.

Tae-young smiled softly, "You know you can tell me what's on your mind, right?"

"I, uh..." Hyeong-jun tried avoiding eye contact.

Tae-young rotated and leaned up against the side of his bed, opened his arm, and signaled for Hyeong-jun to lean up against his shoulder in his embrace. Hyeong-jun's nervous smile turned soft for a moment, quietly nodding as he repositioned himself and leaned up against Tae-young. Hyeong-jun smiled softly as he sat in Tae-young's arms. His fears suddenly felt lighter.

He let out a small breath, "I've never shared a bed with a boyfriend before. I mean, I've never had a boyfriend before. So I'm just nervous. Because I've never really been close to anyone like that... like you have."