We Found Love (Short Story)

12

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I took a bath after doing nothing all day. Wala ako ginagawa dito kundi kumain, matulog, maglaro, and of course... panic attacks.

My panic attacks are getting worse. My scratches are visible. I don't have the time to comb my hair.

It's making me feel like shit.

Iisipin ng iba baliw na talaga ako. Baka nga. Baka baliw na ako.

I trusted them. But they betrayed me. They fooled me. They stabbed me behind my back.

I want to kill them.

My arms, especially my pulse, are itching so I scratched it again. And again. Until it's bleeding. But it's not enough. I did it again. Too bad my nails are cut short.

The pain is not going away, so I pulled my hair. Bakit ganun? What did I do?

I laughed. Funny.

I was about to bang my head on my doorframe when I saw the yellow butterfly.

Right. Haider. He told me to call him when I needed him.

Umalis ako sa kwarto ko at pumunta sa nurse's station. I need to call him.

"I'm going to call Haider"

She hesitated a bit. Pero binigay niya din naman sakin nung naalala niya kung sino ito.

I dialed Haider's number while holding the paper that he gave me.

After 5 rings he answered.

"Hello? Sino to?"

Right. Hindi pala niya alam.

"Sapphire," I said.

"Right. What do you need?"

Parang wala siyang interes. Pero okay lang. At least he cares. Right?

"Can you come here? I need you."

I pleaded. Sana pumunta siya.

I don't know. It's just that I feel comfortable when I'm with him. I know that he will not do anything to hurt me.

"Okay. Wait for me."

I'm happy. He's coming.

I ended the call and gave it back to the nurse.

Naghintay ako sa room ko at inayos yung mga gamit ko kahit wala naman akong mga gamit dahil kinuha nila.

Pero pagkalipas ng isang oras ay wala pa rin siya.

"It's fine. It's fine." I told myself.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako kakahintay sakanya. I'm losing hope.

Why am I even waiting for him? I don't even like him. Yes Sapphire, deny it.

Naalimpungatan ako ng may nag-sasalita na babae at lalaki malapit sa akin.

"Hey, when are we going to leave ba? She's sleeping naman eh."

"Let's just wait for her. Okay?"

I opened my eyes and a smile formed on my lips when I saw Haider. But it quickly faded when I saw a girl.

Sino yan? Girlfriend niya?

"Hey, what happened?" he asked me calmly.

There's this thing about his voice that makes me calm.

"I just need you."

Tinignan niya ako at umupo sa gilid ng kama ko. Pero nag-ring ang phone niya.

He excused himself and I am now left with the girl.

Tinignan ng babae ang kabuoan ng kwarto ko at napako iyon sa mga nakadikit sa bintana ko.

"Butterfly? Haider hates those. By the way, why are you here? What happened to you? Are you like you know?"

I didn't mind the questions.

Haider hates butterflies? I didn't know. I felt a pang of guilt when I remembered na pinagawa ko siya ng butterflies pero ayaw niya naman pala sa mga ganon.

But he called them beautiful? Or maybe he was just pretending to make me feel good.

"Anyways, I think you're like friends lang naman. Right? Me and Haider kasi are you know. There's this thing between us. And I think her parents don't like it pag may kausap siyang ibang girl other than me. Especially when the girl is in a you know."

Ano ang ibig niyang sabihin? Bakit ang sakit?

"Nicole, pwede maghintay ka muna sa labas? Kakausapin ko lang si Sapphire."

I didn't even noticed na nakapasok na si Haider sa room.

The girl went out of the room and Haider immediately went to my side.

I didn't look at him. Tinignan ko lang yung mga ginawa ko na butterfly na nakadikit sa window ko.

Sinundan niya ako ng tingin ng isa-isa ko na tinanggal yung mga ginawa ko.

Bakit hindi niya sinabi? Edi dapat tinanggal ko na matagal na. I can't lose him. No. He cares for me.

"What are you doing? Why are you removing it?"

Hinawakan niya ako at pilit na inaagaw sakin yung mga butterfly.

I was about to throw it in the trash when he took my butterflies.

"Ano yung mga gusto mo na animal? Things? Do you like stars?"

So that I can make it for you. So that you wont leave me.

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