Imagines

The Artist (Ashton)

*** before you read this, it does have a trigger warning due to self harm***

Ashton-

I know a girl who liked to draw.
She drew pictures nobody saw.
She was most artistic at night, in her bathroom, out of sight.
She didn't tell a soul, and her gallery grew.
Her drawings were different, no pencil or pen.
But needed a bandage every now and then.
We stood by the river, under the stars.
She rolled up her sleeves and showed me her scars.
She looked so embarrassed, and looked down at her shoes.
So I rolled up my sleeve and said "I draw too".

I read over what I wrote and close my notebook. I set it down on my nightstand and lie down thinking about her.

*Flashback*

"Where are you going?" Luke asks as he sits on the couch next to Claire as they watch some tv show that I could care less about.

"I'm going to see Livi," I shrug and he nods. As I'm walking down the hallway I hear feet padding after me. I turn around to see Claire standing there as she follows me.

"Ash," she whispers. I raise my eyebrows in question.

She points to her wrist and nods towards me. I look down and remember that I forgot to wear my bracelets. I thank her and run upstairs to my room to grab a jumper and put on my bracelets before heading out. I walk down a couple blocks until I reach Livi's house. Her brother opens the door and smiles as he lets me in. I walk upstairs to her room but she's not there. I check the other rooms on the upper floor of her house but I can't find her. I walk back into her room again and realize that the bathroom light is on. I try to open the door but it's locked.

"Liv," I say, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," her voice cracks at the end - she's been crying, "I'm fine."

"Come out baby, please?" I rest my head against the door.

"Um. Hold on," I hear shuffling on the other side of the door and then a ping of metal hitting the tiled floor. I know that sound.

"Olivia," I bang on the door, "Open this door right now."

The door opens a crack and I push it open. She stands there with her back to me. She turns her head towards me and I can see the tears running down her face as she sobs.

"I'm sorry Ashton," she chokes out as she turns her body towards me.

My eyes tear as I can see the cuts and scars on her forearms. The blood slowly running down her arms as it drips onto the perfect white tiles on her bathroom floor. I have to cover my mouth with my hand to hold back the sobs. 'My baby,' I thought, 'How could I let this happen? I was supposed to protect her from this.' I walk over to her and gently grab her arms. I kneel in front of her and grab a washcloth from the rack next to the door. I wet it and gently wipe away the blood on her arms. I sit her down and go to the cabinet pulling out bandages and Neosporin (sorry idk how to spell). A routine that I am all too familiar with. I lean down and gently apply the ointment and bandage her arms. I pick up the blade off the floor and flush it down the toilet. I wipe her tears and hold her close. We stay huddled together on the floor for what seems like forever. I don't want to ask her what her reason is, she'll tell me when she's ready.

When she seems to have calmed down I stand up and take her hand leading her out of her house. We walk in silence as we head towards the park near her house. There is a small creek that runs along the side of it. We sit down on the edge and take off our shoes so our feet skim the cool water. She stares up at the night sky, eyes bright as she looks at the stars. 'How could someone so beautiful feel the need to do something so awful?' I think to myself as I study her beauty. She turns towards me and her eyes begin to tear.

"I'm so sorry Ashton," she whispers, "You don't deserve this. I'll just go..." She stands up and starts to walk away.

"Liv," I grab her hand and pull her back to me. "Wait," I pull off my jumper and hand it to her. She looks at me skeptically but shrugs as she puts it on. I slide off my bracelets and hand them to her as well. She holds them in her hands as she furrows her eyebrows at me in confusion.

"I don't understand," she begins, "Am I supposed to dress up like you?"

"No," I take a deep breath. "I draw too" I say calmly as I place my wrists in her small hands.

Her eyes widen as they wander over my wrists. She begins to cry again. I pull her close and she buries her face in the crook of my neck. I kiss her temple as her tears soak the collar of my shirt. She pulls away and I run my thumb over her cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"Ash," she says faintly, "Don't cry baby." She moves her small hands to my face and wipes away my tears. I didn't even realize I was crying too.

"We can fight it," I say taking her hands in mine, resting my forehead against hers. "You and me against the world."

"I like that," she laughs a little and smiles faintly.

*Flashback over*

I sigh as I roll over. Those days were over, the fight was lost a while ago. Only I was the one left here to suffer. 'She's gone' I remind myself, 'There's nothing I can do to bring her back.' The countless bar bimbos, or random girls can never replace her. Tears roll down my face as I continue to let my thoughts of her consume me. I sit up and pull my knees to my chest, holding my face in my hands. "She's gone," I whisper to myself as I continue cry through the night.