Alignment of the Stars

Chapter 27

I looked at my phone as it was deafening my ears. I saw texts from Dylia, Hannah, Kinah, and Neil. No texts from Conan. I left a sigh as I throw my phone in frustration. I was so down with the issues that I have been dealing with for how many days.

It has been a year since we broke up but I kept on texting and calling Conan, wishing for him to pick up. I have been at my worst starting from my health up to my social life but I kept on updating him, hoping that he might end up reading my messages.

Desperate may it be but I just can't forget all the memories that we've spent. Funny how things revolve and my situation before was following him. And the guilt has been destroying my health and the future of my baby.

I heard a loud knock from my door. I opened it and saw Neil carrying fruits and flowers. He roomed his gazes on my room and saw how messy it was.

"What happened here!" He said as he picks up the mess and the things that are scattered in the room. He looks at me with a look of concern.

He keeps on complaining as he was cleaning all the corners of the room. His complaint was music to my ears. I need this, the noise. I need it to feel the ambiance of freedom. I haven't communicated with anyone for a month. I want to reflect on all the aspects that have been existing in my life.

I prepared Neil a cup of tea and some pasta for his snacks. He keeps on talking and talking. But I just focused on the scenery outside. I took a deep sigh. I glanced at Neil as he stopped his words.

"What? Why did you stop?" I asked as I sip my coffee.

He looked at me, examining and trying to read my thoughts from my face. His expression changes as he held for my hands.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? " he asked as his eyes were directing on my emotions.

"It's just nothing," I replied.

He caressed my face as he feels the coldness of my response.

"You can always share with me. I'll listen." He said.

Neil's a good listener, he has been there from the start and has handled pain and the worse with me. For once, I want to tell him what I felt, thoughts that hinder my life to live.

"I don't know, Neil. Everythings just fleeting and I don't know how I'm going to rectify all of this. My dad assaulting and threatening Conan's Family is way too much. He even avenged me with the dignity of Conan's mother. His evil. I can't even think that I can live with him. I can't live with the reality that he is my father. I knew before that he has dark secrets that have been lurking in the shadows and now it is growing, the devil's horn. I can't face Conan, but I want to see him. I can't be with him, but I want to live with him. I can't be complete for I am no longer in his arms. It just started with this goddamn lust. How his father modestly harassed me. I just wanted to give what he deserves. Is it wrong to give justice? If it's wrong then I don't want to be right. Fuck. I thought he understands me. But he just let that misunderstanding ruined our relationship. How immature of him." I proclaimed as tears began to shed.

I throw the cup that I am holding and it's the impact makes the pieces shatter.

"I understand you, but you can never live unless you won't move on. I hate to say this to you but I think you deserve this to know. Conan is moving to his province and I heard that he is already engaged with the Mayor's daughter in their province.". He said as he held my hands with all of his force.

Wait what, how? When? Shit. How can he do this to me? How can he immediately find another woman? How can he abruptly move on from our relationship? Impossible. This can't be happening.

"As much as I don't want to believe but I once saw them in a mall, they were too close with each other and with my two eyes. I witnessed how their lips touched." He said as he hugged me with all of his comforts that he could give.

No words can explain the ache that I have felt. My heart was pounding so fast. Tears flowing from my eyes, pain stabbing my heart, anxiety knocking on my head. Fuck.

"How, how can he do this to me, Neil. I waited for him to come back but why didn't he? I want to see him, Neil. Tell me where." I keep on sobbing.

I feel pity for myself as Dad's words were true, I'm the one destroying myself.

" Be strong Mika. You have us, your baby. You are more than this. I know you love him but the love you give wasn't enough to let him stay. I know it's hard but accept it. I want you to accept the pain and moved on. I'll be here. I'll support you and your baby. Just please stop destroying yourself." He said.

He's right, I can't let him ruined me. I guess I was not enough. My past was too heavy that he can't carry it anymore. He wants to have a normal life, a normal family, and a normal woman to love. And that is not me. I'll accept it. Even if it hurts, I'll try to forget you. For me and my baby, I'll try. But this time, I'll try alone. Without you.

My phone rang as I saw your name written on it. I was having doubts about accepting it but it's the only way to bury all the agony and say

"Hello"

to my future.