Alignment of the Stars

Chapter 30

Conan's Letter for Mika

It has been a year, love since we broke up but the pain I've felt is still here with me. I hope you're doing well? I've been stalking you on your social media and you look happy. You are taking a lot of pictures compared before, how come did we not have pictures? Maybe it's just because we're too busy handling our agony? By the way, Neil sent me a picture of our baby Cosmo, he looks like you. I hate admitting this but he has Vicente's eyes. How I wish I was there with you and Cosmo. But I can't.

Love, I know I wasn't able to show you completely my love for you but bear in mind, I have tried. I have tried to fill in the missing pieces of yourself that I forgot that I was also missing mine. I hope you were able to appreciate my sacrifices and the little things that create butterflies in your stomach.

I can still remember how we argue each time, how our different perspectives rallies on simple matters. You always want to win. You were so spoiled back then. I missed your reaction every time you lose in arcade games and you even hate me for calling you a zombie.

Good old days.

I just want to bring back the past, to restore it so that we can have a future together but it's too heavy. Our past was too heavy, the good ones and the bad were contradicting each other. We just let the past ruined our present. And I guess we need this to cool our minds and come to our senses.

I wrote this letter to let you remember the memories we've spent together under the stars.

Every night, I kept on praying for your fast recovery and to heal the suffering that has been suffocating you for a long time.

Each moment spent with you is priceless. Seeing you smile makes my whole world stumble. Your effect on mine was stronger than what I have expected.

As a man, I hate to admit this but I have butterflies in my stomach as well. Every time you draw near to me hugs me, and even in simple conversation, you made me blush. I know it's not that obvious for I am just controlling it. I love the way you make me feel that I am the richest man in the whole world for I have you.

You are priceless, love.

You are special and I hope you can see that. I hope you can see what I can see. You are a strong, beautiful woman and I can't wait to turn our promises into vows. To turn the stars into altars. I can't wait to marry you.

That was my promise to myself. I promised God that someday, I might marry you.

But Shit happens, our paths were completely different. Our promises were halted and our love was curtailed.

Problems and struggles test our relationship but sad to say we were swayed by its strong current. We were able to let those problems ruined our relationship, to ruin us. And look where it leads us. It leads us into great desolation.

The brightness that we have been feeling has been altered by our past and now darkness has been our daily companion, up to now.

Funny how our fate makes the fool out of ourselves. It's way too unbelievable to comprehend what happened to us.
It made me coward person. I wasn't even able to protect you. I regret that.

They think that leaving you was the best thing I could've done but come to think of it, you were the only ones who have to understand me. You're the only one who has accepted me from my status of life and you were the only one who has made me believe in love.

As corny as it sounds, you made me live.

And now that your gone, I can't understand myself anymore, no one accepts me and there is no love left in me, only the void filling in my heart.

How did this happen?

How? It's because of me. I was too scared and unreasonable that I end up making the worst decision of my life.

Redundant may it be, but every day I kept on asking forgiveness to the stars for the damage that I have brought to you. You don't deserve it.

And now you're slowly progressing, forgetting your past and focusing on your future. I am so proud of you. You were able to rise from your experiences. I always admire you for that.

You're slowly reviving that smile of yours. Please continue smiling, it looks better on you. It makes me reminisce our memories where we spent our time together happily.

I miss your angelic voice, how it was so soothing to my ears and brings harmony to my wild thoughts. You were able to bring peace within me.

I miss your scent, how it brings a fragrance to my world and creates a sensation of relaxation in my mind.

I miss your presence, how you make me feel relevant and how you make me feel loved and unbothered by the pain and misery that I am facing.

I miss your comfort, how you calm and make solace to my hectic schedules and helps me to manage my time. You were supportive as before.

In short, I miss you.

Please wait for me.

I know it will take a long time, but I know it will be worth it. By then, I can finally give you everything that you want, the stars, the moon, and even the universe. I'll be the father of Cosmo and I'll prove to you how much I love you and how much I regret letting you go. Just wait for me.

But I know that's Impossible.

You're now afar.

Far from my reach.

I've heard your already outside our country, trying to start a new life.

A life without me.

But until then, I'll wait.

I'll wait until our stars aligned again.

-Conan