Alignment of the Stars

Chapter 29

Conan's POV

I remember the day when I first saw you. You were so mad at me at that time but I find you cute. At that time I was very nervous, not because I bumped into your car but it's because I was ashamed of my work.

I have always been writing in the sky and waiting for shooting stars to wish to see you again and guess what we have seen each other, again. And you were still as furious as before. Teasing you makes my day. But didn't I know that it was going to be the worst day of your life?

You were assaulted and raped by a vicious man, Vicente. Before knowing what happened I was completely head over heels with you. I like you from the start. Never have I thought to be friends with you and make some memories that surely I'll treasure the most. Being with you was the best feeling. You are my great escapade, my comfort zone. You make me feel satisfied and pleased. You are an angel sent by God.

Every day, you keep on impressing me with your attitude. You have been helping me when I was low and you even didn't mind my work and status. For a wealthy woman like you, you were able to connect with an impoverished person like me. I was amazed by your stories and your life.

You let me entered your colorful life. You let me discern the various shades of your emotions. Your light and darker tones. You have trusted me.

And the best part is, you let me love you.

But days pass by you were slowly fading, your hands had been slipping away from my grasp. You have been pulled by your anxiety and your father.

I have been searching for answers, finding the corollary of your misery. And then here I am punching the walls of the hospital as I found out that you were assaulted by Vicente, a person that I can't even call my father. And I've found out that you were pregnant fuck. How?

I was devastated by what happened to you. As I went back home I found myself choking Vicente with all of my force. I almost killed him but my mother was desperately drawn into him.

He got what he deserves, he is now imprisoned. But I can't live with my mother mourning every day and night.

Knowing that he was life sentenced, my mother broke into pieces. We can't even afford an attorney to represent him in court. We were powerless.
I felt pity for my mother and my anger was burst into the worst decision of my life, living with you. The day we have our argument it haunts me how my words were too hard. But it is what your father wants.

We have an agreement. He wants me to break up with you just to gain my stepfather's freedom. I know your father, he can assault anyone. And by the means of anyone, he just assaulted my mother. He threatened us.

I guess you were right, I wasn't man enough to love you. I wasn't brave enough to fight for you. I wasn't able to set you free.

Your father wanted me to lie, to tell Neil that I am already engaged to someone else. It seems like I turned out to be his puppet. I explained to Neil and he was able to understand my situation but I hope you can as well.

I know Neil can never hurt you the way I did. With him, you can be happy and be free with your baby, our little Cosmo. Thank you for filling his name with mine. The universe. Both of you are my universe.

Neil will take care of you. He can protect you, and besides, he can love you better. He has been there from the start-up to the end.

Oh God, it breaks me, seeing you struggle and have mental breakouts because of me. But this time I won't let that happen.

I'll give you time to be away from the toxic feud and relationship that we have. You deserve better love. I know Neil can give you everything. But please wait for me. Wait for me until I'm ready. Until I'm brave enough, powerful enough, and strong enough to protect you. And even time is against my will, I  will never replace you, love. And I know that you won't as well. And when the right time comes, I can finally then give you the stars.

And now it has been a year and I want to see you, not to say goodbye but to prepare. I am preparing something love. I promise I'll win you over. I'll have you back.

I'm sorry my love, you are living with my lies. But I want you to know how much I love you. 

But just like the stars, you were too high. Reaching you was impossible. I'll just look at you up above the sky, remembering all the memories that turned into dust.

And if ever our stars aligned again, I want to see you happy, I want you to shine for someone else, someone that you deserve. Someone who can give you a comfortable life. Someone who can give you the universe.

And that is not me.

I love you-Conan.