Trust me

Admissions and Kisses ❥

I slid down the wall, my face in my hands. The pain in my heart was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It was like a knife had been stabbed through it and twisted over and over again. It was the feeling of complete and utter betrayal that I just couldn't stand.

How could he do this to me? After everything we've been through, he decides that he's going to go back to his ex. Sure, I never told him I loved him back. But if he really loved me, he wouldn't be able to give up on me that easily.

Looking back at these past two weeks, they were the best two weeks of my life. We already have so many memories. How could he just forget about them like that? Especially since I had opened my heart up and showed him my darkest, most kept secrets.

I gasped for air, the pain in my heart becoming too much. Tears were leaking out of my eyes like a waterfall. Even though I had been heart-broken before, it had never felt as bad as this. It was like a piece of me had been ripped off; and it was almost too hard to bear.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I flinch as soon as I hear some one at the door. Who would be here at this time of day? Especially since I barely knew anybody.

"Who is it?" I yell, my voice thick with tears.

"um... Its Reuben."

I freeze, not exactly sure what to do. What was he doing here? Wasn't he just snogging his girlfriend? I take a breath as I try to collect my self; I needed to be strong.

"Go away, I don't want to see you right now." No matter how hard I'm trying to sound strong, my voice breaks at the end. My heart was begging me to bring him inside, let him hug me and tell me everything's all right. But he didn't even love me. He was lying the whole time. I didn't have time for lies.

"Please, just let me explain." I sigh with frustration. How could he explain himself?

"What do you have to explain? Why you were sitting on the table across from me snogging your ex-girlfriend?" I mumble angrily, I'm not even sure if he heard me.

"If you'd just open the door, then maybe you would know why." Reuben says, matching the same tone of voice as me.

I think for a minute, contemplating whether or not it would be a good idea to talk to him. I know that if I see his face, I might just crumble and forgive him. But I also don't want him to leave, and I know for sure if I don't open that door now, he'll probably be gone forever.

Sighing dramatically, I lift my shaking legs up and walk to the front door. Taking a deep breath, I swing the door open and prepare for what is to come.

Standing In front of me is a brown haired boy with the saddest eyes ever. But no matter how sorry they looked, they were lying.

"Wouldn't you rather be with your girlfriend?" I mumble, looking down and my fiddling hands and avoiding all eye contact. I didn't want him to see my puffy eyes, and know that I was crying because of him. Even though of course it was kind of obvious.

"Firstly, she's not my girlfriend. Secondly, I only kissed her to see if the sparks were still there. She had asked me to give her another chance, so I decided to go see if I still loved her. Turns out I don't, I feel nothing." Even though his voice is filled with honesty, I still cant help but doubt him.

"If you loved me, why were you going to see if there were sparks?" I say, finally looking up at Reuben's beautiful blue eyes. They looked so hurt, sad even. But I refuse to give into them.

"Why do you care?" Reuben says, he's starting to sound a little angry.

"Well I don't know, maybe because I showed you things nobody has ever seen before and you decided to pretend like it never happened!" I yell, growing angrier by the minute.

"Well don't you think that showing me your secrets is a pretty sure sign that you have feelings for me? I mean, when you showed me that stuff I was pretty sure you liked me. But when I asked you if you loved me back, you shrugged your shoulders! I mean, what kind of response is that!" He says, his eyes are no longer beautiful anymore. All they show is anger.

"WELL MAYBE I EXPECTED YOU TO GIVE ME TIME!" I say, my face probably looks like a tomato by now.

"I GAVE YOU TIME! I'VE GIVEN YOU PLENTY OF TIME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LOVING ME?!" And even though he's angry, I can see the tears welling up in the back of his eyes.

"I'm afraid, okay?" I say, just above a whisper. I'm no longer angry anymore, just ashamed. "I'm afraid to love because everyone I've ever loved have broken me."

And suddenly Reuben's not so angry anymore. His eyes become and endless pull of sadness, and I can tell he regrets shouting at me.

"You know, I would never break your heart?"

And with that, his lips were pressed against mine. I had imagined what it was like, to kiss him. But I never expected it to be like this. I suddenly feel as though every single nerve in my body had seen set on fire. I've never had a rush of energy like this and though my mind immediately turns to mush, frantically trying to figure out what to do, my body reacts completely independently of my brain, closing what little distance remained between me and Reuben until our bodies are pressed completely against each other and I can feel Reus wicked fast heartbeat through his chest; within seconds, my heart is beating as fast as his. He seems to know what he's doing more than I do and I find his hands slide out of mine as he wraps it around my neck, pulling my face more urgently to his. Then, finally, my brain just shuts itself off, forgetting everything logical. Our lips feel like they're getting tangled up, but it's a good sort of tangled. By the time we pull apart, I'm completely breathless.

"Wow" I mumble against his lips, trying to catch my breath.

"Agreed" He says, smirking.

"Reuben." I ask nervously. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah" He says, still holding me tight in his arms, like he's afraid I'll disappear.

"I l-love you"

And with that our lips are connected again. I hadn't felt this happy in years.