Trust me

Ready to fly ❃

I don't know what I expected dying to be like, but I didn't imagine it like this. I never realize how painful it would actually be. I could feel every bone in my body throbbing as my deep red blood soaked out of my skin. I wasn't done with this life; I wasn't ready to move on. I didn't want to live in eternal nothingness, not yet.

"Please stop the burning in my head, please!" I beg, tears dripping down my cheeks as I scream out in pain. My breath was labored; each gasp came with an audible croak, my chest heaving up and down with great effort, as if it were weighted down. Each intake of breath felt harder than before, but I wasn't going to give up. I had a whole new life awaiting me, a whole new life with Reu.

"Just a little longer, okay! Just stay a little longer!" Reuben screamed, bending down so that he was lying next to my crumpled up body, holding me in his arms. I felt as if the whole world was against me, set on hearing no more from me. My eyes burned, but I would not blink, too afraid that I would not have the ability to open them again. White dots dance across my vision tauntingly, and the corners of me eyesight begin to dim.

"Please, Reuben," I beg, clutching onto his arm with all my might. "It burns"

Why was this so hard? Why me? Questions reverberate inside my skull, echoing without any answers until it feels as if millions of tiny nails are drilling inside of my forehead. I grit my teeth, my jaw tight. This couldn't be the end for me; I needed to hang on just a little longer. Soon enough an ambulance would be here, soon enough my life with Reuben will begin.

"Remember when we first met, under the oak tree?" Reuben croaked. I could hear the panic in his voice that he was so desperately trying to hide, but failing miserably.

I smiled though, remembering the first time I saw his perfect eyes. The way they lit up when he smiled and made me laugh at the simplest of things. I remember the concern he had for me that day, the way he was caring for me more in that one day, than anyone had ever cared for me in years.

"Yes" I whispered, my eyes were getting heavy but I knew the ambulance would be here soon. I was going to be okay.

"Or that time you painted for me. It was a beautiful painting you know, the best I've ever seen" Even though worry was written all over his face, I could see the hint of adoration at the back of his mind.

I sighed, remembering the way it felt when I painted. Every detail, every colour, every important part of the setting was splashed across that page. And I felt pure joy that I hadn't felt in years. Something that only Reuben, and now painting, could ever do to me.

Tears were slipping down Reuben's cheeks, the fear in his eyes as he cradled my body tighter. I could feel my eyes becoming glassy, where were the ambulances? Where were they?

I was struggling to breathe, my throat burning every time I took a breath. I couldn't do this for much longer; I knew my time was coming.

"Or that first time I told you I loved you, when you rejected me because you were afraid?" He laughed, though there was no humor in his voice.

I felt my eyes becoming heavy, I couldn't keep them open for much longer. This couldn't be the end of everything, it just couldn't.

I remember seeing Reuben's scars, the way they were painted all over his wrists like thousands and thousands of bracelets. I couldn't help but wonder if he had stopped. If the blade that was once his lover was replaced by me. I would make sure, that is I got out of this alive.

My head stung and my eyes were burning. I could barely see Reuben now; there were so many white dots in my vision. He was so perfect, so beautiful. He had always been there for me; always stuck by my side when I needed him. He loved me like nobody has ever loved me before, and he was loyal to me. And for that I am forever grateful. I could never ask for anyone better.

"Don't leave me okay? Don't leave me!" Reuben called, but I could barely hear him. My eyes were closing as I took my last breaths.

"Thank you," I whispered, trying to stay awake. "For letting me trust you."

My breath hitched in my throat, the burning in my head reaching its maximum strength. I screamed out in agony as I clutched my head, tears pouring down my face. I couldn't breath, not anymore. It was time to move on, to begin the next life. Whatever that may be.

I've achieved so much, and I'm so proud of myself. My life had been an extraordinary one, and I'm thankful for every moment of it. Even all the bad parts. Because if it weren't for them then I would never have found Reuben, I would never have felt what it was like to be in love. My life is an extraordinarily odd one, but I wouldn't want it any other way. It was time to be with my mum, time to move on.

I suck in one last breath. Reuben's constant begging for me to stay alive was only distant noises now. I loved him, with all my heart and soul. But he will move on. I know he will live a life knowing that he saved mine. I just know it.

A bright light flashed across my vision, and suddenly I was running down a meadow, my bare feet skimming across lush grass and rainbow flowers. I felt like I was flying as the wind whipped my hair and blew my blue, cornflower dress. Every thought left my mind, every worry I ever had was gone. Nothing mattered except the pounding of my feet on the earth as I ran and ran and ran. Eventually, even Reuben's voice escaped my notice. It was just the earth, the sky and I. Everything felt simple and beautiful and wonderful. In that moment I felt like I could do anything. That's when I noticed I actually was flying, the meadow down below me. I knew I was on my way out.

I was ready to fly.

Im sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know most of you will kill me because of that chapter, and just know I am so sorry. I'm not sure if I should make this the FINAL chapter or continue on my story. I know most of you guys will say "keep going!" But trust me, the next chapter definitely won't be what you're expecting. THERE WILL BE A PLOT TWIST! So if you guys want me to keep writing, be warned that it won't be the last, and it definitely won't be the typical love story ending in movies. So it up to you guys if you want me to keep writing, or stop there xx

Nether the less, if this is the ending I'm am soon grateful for all the support and votes from you guys. I really hope you enjoyed this story because I sure as hell enjoyed writing it. I've put so much heart and soul into it and it pains me if this is the last time I'll be able to explore the world of Reuben and Jessica!

This isn't the end of me though. I have two other books at the moment; Inconceivable and Yesterday. Remember to go check them out if you like my writing and you enjoyed this story!

Once again I am sooo thankful for all the amazing support and I hope you guys liked the book! I know the ending probably makes you want to punch me in the face but I completely understand :) Feel free to.

Anyways love you guys and can't wait to hear from all of you in my future books. (That is if you liked this one :P)

So once again, make sure to leave down in the comments wether you want this to be the last chapter, or you want more.

Have a nice day and happy reading :)

- Gracie