Trust me

Houses and Paintings ☠

I troughed up the hill tiredly, taking in my surroundings. I had been walking for over an hour and I still wasn't even close to my destination. Looking up at the landmark in front of me, I admired the small park that sat on the right side of the road. It had a tiny, old swing set that swayed back and forth tiredly.

My mind wondered to all those times I had spent with my mum. When we would run down to the play ground, pretending that we were nothing but free. Even though we both knew that wasn't the truth. Her gorgeous blonde hair swaying around her face as she pushed me on the swing.

"Higher mummy, higher!" I would call, pretending that I was a bird, as the sweet sound of her mesmerizing laugh would fill my ears.

She would always tell me to "stay positive" even when everything seemed hopeless. Even when my dad hit her and she ran from the house, tears streaming down her face, probably wondering why she even married the man. Even then, she would tell me that everything would be all right.

And I believed her, because I was only 7 years old. And when you're that age, you believe everything that your parents tell you, even if it's a load of shit. But by the age of 12, I started having doubts. Because every time my dad laid his hands on my mum everything didn't seem all right. And my mum would cry. And she'd run out of the house, leaving me alone to defend for myself against the monster that I use to call my dad. And I knew that no matter how many times she told me to "stay positive" It was almost impossible.

I sighed, quickening my pace as I suddenly had a strange urge to get there faster.

Turning a sharp corner, I arrived at my destination. The big old abandoned house sat at the top of the hill, staring down at me with haunting eyes. I had been here recently, but even then it still scared me to step inside. There were secrets in there, secrets that nobody knew. Painted all over the walls of that house, were the darkest parts of my head.

I was running away from dad after he hit me when I found this place... I had no idea where I was going, but somehow I managed to end up here.

—-

"DAD!" I shrieked, pushing him off of me.

Tears stained my face as I cupped my now burning cheek with my hand. He had hit me. And even though he had done it a thousand times before, it still came as a shock.

"JUST BECAUSE MUM DIED DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN HIT ME TOO!" I yelled, running out of the house not exactly sure where I was going or what I was doing.

After running for what seemed like hours, I managed to bump into a big house at the top of a hill. Of course, my conscience told me not to go in there. But when I saw the small signature 'A.S' written just above the doorframe, I knew it was safe.

Amy Steel was my mother's name. And when I saw those initials on the doorframe, it had suddenly hit me; this was where my mum went when dad hit her. Those were her initials. And even though she was gone, it felt like there was still a small part of her left in the house.

—-

I troughed up the hill, hoping to god nobody had noticed me coming here. It was my place. And I swore that I would never, ever let another inside.

I took a shaky step onto the front porch, my heart beating a thousand miles an hour. Every time I stepped in here, it was like a big slap in the face. It made me realise how sucky my life actually was.

I closed my eyes as I slowly opened the door, taking a shaky breath as I braced my self for what was to come. Stepping fully into the house, I took a look at my surroundings. All over the walls were thousands and thousands of paintings. On the right side of one wall, was a picture of my crumpled up body, slices in my arms and legs where I had cut myself just after my mother's death. Deep red paint was sloshed across the painting and tears were spilling from my eyes like a waterfall.

On the left wall sat a painting of me ducking my head in shame as a bunch of kids pointed at me, smirks settled across their faces. Words were scribbled all over the painting; Ugly, fat, whore, freak, slut. Words I wished to forget, but never could.

I felt a tear drop down my cheek as I continued my voyage through the house. I past rooms and rooms filled with haunting paintings, until I reached the end of the long hallway. I stopped awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot as I stared up at a blank wall in front of me, yet to be filled. That was where my deepest and darkest secret would be painted. But somehow I knew that it hadn't come yet.

Sinking to the floor I curled up into a tight ball, pulling my legs into my chest as I let out a slight sob. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying hysterically.

"Why" I managed to whisper, trying to understand my life.

"WHY!" I shouted louder, placing my small hands over my face. Only then did I let the tears fall.

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Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I know it's super depressing so I hope you can forgive me!

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- gracιe