martyrs & maniacs. | tbz jujae

13.

A week after Eunseo's outburst, Juyeon finds himself scrolling through Hyunjae's Instagram profile.

His friend must've been hurt so much considering that Juyeon hasn't talked to him in person since the night of Younghoon's party. Hyunjae's "it's okay, don't apologise. i'll just give you a time and place for the talk :))" was the last message in their conversation history. There were no more hangouts with him anymore; his friend group went back to the original Juyeon-Eunseo-Younghoon trio. Whenever they cross paths on campus, the older was quick to change directions or get busy with his phone. Whenever he wants to come with Eunseo when she plans to hangout with the older, his request was always refuted. Whenever he tries texting Hyunjae about when the talk is going to happen or when they can socialize again, his texts are always left unseen.

He knows he should give the man some time — Hyunjae was heartbroken after all. It wasn't much of a surprise for their other friends because according to them, Hyunjae was very obvious with his feelings. The revelation and the subsequent conversation just solidified the fact that Juyeon is dense as hell, as well as persistent on something that can't happen right now. "Imagine kissing the boy you like, then telling him you love him, then he leaves you alone and gets together with his ex immediately. Wouldn't you want to put some space after that?", Younghoon had reminded him after he lamented about their situation. Eunseo told him to distance himself from their friend as well, and Juyeon understands, he should understand, but in his opinion, one week is already too long. They need to talk. They— He needs to fix this friendship.

Hyunjae carved his own special place in Juyeon's heart and life in just a short amount of time. Juyeon can't afford to lose a friend like him, not when he hasn't even done anything to rekindle their friendship.

A hand snakes on its waist. "Why are you on Hyunjae-hyung's Instagram page?"

Juyeon holds the hand that is on his waist. Chanhee's hands are always so small and cute just like their owner. " Just checking on how he's doing."

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why do you need to check? Don't you guys hang out or something?"

Of course, Juyeon isn't going to tell his boyfriend about everything that happened that certain night. Knowing him, Chanhee will probably blame himself for the whole thing, even if it wasn't his intention to hurt Hyunjae at all. Chanhee is just too nice.

He closes his phone and turns around to engulf the blonde in his arms. Chanhee only lets out a giggle and hugs him even tighter. "It's a long story."

"Yeah? Is it a good story or a bad story?"

"It's a good story, don't worry."

"I don't think that's the case." Chanhee replies. Juyeon just smiles warmly before shaking his head. "I know you, Ju. Don't lie to me. Just— I want to let you know that I'm always here to listen to your problems, okay? Don't be afraid to vent out your frustrations to me."

"It's okay, Hee. I don't wanna burden you."

The younger boy pouts. "I just want you to share your burdens with me so that you won't feel troubled so much." His hands fly to cradle Juyeon's face. "Besides, no one can understand you — your points, your thoughts, your emotions — best other than me. I'm the only one who knows you very well, baby. So talk to me, alright?"

Juyeon thinks that Chanhee's eyes are always his best features. They hold so many stars in them, shining in a way that Juyeon thinks cannot be found in any other person. It always makes the blonde's emotions feel raw, like Chanhee wants him to really feel what he's feeling, like he wants him to know that his emotions are sincere.

The younger's words accompanied by his unmasked sympathetic and tender gaze tells Juyeon everything he has to know. He plants a light peck on Chanhee's lips. "I love you."

A giggle, followed by a soft pinch of his cheek. "I love you too."

Juyeon locks eyes with his lover, a loving smile plastered on his face. Chanhee mutters another proclamation of affection to him before pulling his face closer to his for a deep kiss, making Juyeon feel loved in another way. A few more I love you's and soft kisses later and Chanhee is already scratching red marks on Juyeon's naked back like his life depended on it.

The phone on Juyeon's hand was left on the bedside table, abandoned and forgotten amidst the moans and hushed whispers that filled the room.

That is until it played a familiar tune that Juyeon has been dreading to hear for days.

One thing you should know about Juyeon is that he has some kind of obsession with his ringtones. It's simple; Juyeon likes to associate the closest people in his life to a sound or a song that he thinks fit them the most, and then use it as the sound his phone will play whenever he receives a text or a call from them.

His mother's is the sound of a streaming river with birds chirping. His father's is the chorus of the song that he used to dance along to when he was a child. Younghoon's is a cheeky foreign children song. Eunseo's is the Sparta excerpt from the movie 300. Chanhee's is the chorus of Taeyeon's 'Fine'. And Hyunjae? Hyunjae's assigned ringtone is a voice recording of him singing his musical solo.

And so when the first few seconds of the older's voice started to play in a medium volume, Juyeon was quick to try and find out the reason why his phone was playing that song.

"Why did you stop—" Chanhee's face contorts into a confused expression when his boyfriend suddenly stopped his ministrations on his neck before pulling away. The confusion only became stronger when Juyeon reached for his phone. "Seriously? You stopped for that?"

Juyeon cannot do anything but give the frustrated boy an apologetic smile. He carefully unlocks his phone to check the message that he received.

From: present hyung (4:14 PM)
i'm sorry for not replying sooner, but eunseo told me that you keep bothering her. i'm really busy rn but i will immediately meet up with u once i am free.

There's a hint of disappointment due to the fact that this isn't the message he was expecting but nonetheless, Juyeon is glad that the older boy finally replied back. It didn't and wouldn't change anything in their slowly drifting relationship, but it's still progress.

To: present hyung (4:15 PM)
i understand. take your time, hyung. i am sorry for being annoying but i just really miss you.

From: present hyung (4:16 PM)
your innocence will hurt you one day. thanks, ju.

Chanhee takes a peak from behind him. Juyeon knows that because his shoulder felt heavier. "Present? Hyunjae-hyung? You know you could've looked at it once we're done, right?"

"Sorry, babe. It's just important."

"As important as me?" Chanhee spits out. His face immediately softened when he realized what he said. "Sorry. Can you just put the phone down so that we can continue?"

"I'll just reply—"

"Juyeon." The blonde calls his name with a pleading face. "Lie in bed with me again please?"

Juyeon takes a look at the phone in his hand, the messaging app open for him to talk to Hyunjae. He then transfers his gaze to his lover, red and flustered prettily on the white sheets while he looks at him expectantly. Juyeon sighs. He closes his phone and crawls back to his previous spot on the bed.

A part of his mind stayed alert for any additional messages that he might receive from Hyunjae for the rest of the day.