My Colors are you

Chapter 8

It had been six weeks since the lakeside party. The morning after, Maggie had called Rory in panic, asking why she had left early. Rory told her about what happened with Finn and Abigail, purposely leaving out Harley's name from that night. She stuck by her word, wanting nothing to do with him. It was a silly mistake she made by seeking comfort in him. She convinced herself it happened because of her vulnerability at the moment. Harley became a ghost of her past. Friday's at the Sweetie Goods was the only sign that he existed.

As for Finn, she heard he began dating Abigail. Not that it surprised her, but it left a slight sting. Maggie ranted about how he led Rory on and used her, but Rory didn't share the same thought. She concluded they had potential to date, however, a better option came along and he chose it. Abigail and Finn were far more compatible than them. It also lifted a weight off her shoulders from having to impress him. She had thought Finn was attractive, but she has since realized that it was a temporary feeling.

After a week's worth of agonizing studying, midterms had passed as fast as they came. Rory had no interest in knowing how either terrible or well she had done. Typical test anxiety that resulted from the stress of succeeding to survive the world. It did, however, help to have a studious friend like Maggie motivate her even when all Rory wanted was to order pizza and lounge around in her apartment in total denial of the world around her. Her sense of motivation was difficult for her to hold on to. She occasionally had to remind herself to keep trying her best.

"I've always been curious what you think about when you stare like that," Maggie marveled. She sat across from Rory, scooping up strawberry frozen yogurt and putting it into her mouth. Rory almost cringed at the overload of candy toppings. Her taste buds had betrayed her long ago. Once upon a time, she could eat an abundance of candies by the mouthful. Then on one unlucky occasion, she hated so much candy her stomach was in severe pain and avoided it ever since she envied Maggie for having the appetite.

Rory poked at her vanilla bean yogurt with oat toppings, marshmallow sauce, and sprinkles. The colors were so plain but delicious. She couldn't stop eyeing the colorfulness of Maggie's yogurt masterpiece. They were so different.

"You heard me, right?" She asked.

In reply, Rory placed a finger against her lips. Her thoughts were precious to her, after all. Even if they were supermundane.

"Whatever," Maggie played along. "I'm not that curious, after all. I'm just glad to see you back to your normal self."

Rory froze, preferring it would be best to let Maggie think whatever she wanted. It was true, Rory had been more upbeat around Maggie, hoping she could, as Maggie put it, "go back to her normal self." But had she told Maggie the sadness that crept behind her and the fear she felt within her, then they would have a different conversation and not in a yogurt place.

Rory had a constant restless sleep. As soon as she would find comfort and doze off, she'd wake up in the middle of the night or an hour before her alarm went off. Once awake, she would feel exhausted but unable to go back to sleep. Then other nights, her mind would wander until she thought about the inevitability of time. That's when the pit of her stomach would turn and she would fear what the future offered, the people she would eventually lose. Her anxiety would take control of her thoughts.

She looked at Maggie, who happily scooped her frozen yogurt. She would not want to know her thoughts, Rory thought to herself.

"You worry about me too much, what happened to me scolding you for taking too many units like last year," Rory replied.

"Well, since then you've had more important things to worry about." Maggie caught herself as soon as she saw Rory's eyes sadden. So far, they haven't mentioned her mother. Rory could tell Maggie was trying to change the direction of her words when she said, "Take Finn, for example. And after all, you went through."