Chapter 21

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Rory spent most of her night staring up at the ceiling. She gave up on having a good sleep. No matter what way she turned over or moved to make herself comfortable, she'd grow instantly frustrated. She'd toss over again and again until, finally, her frustration kept her awake. It wasn't long before she got up from bed, defeated.

Her apartment was dark and quiet. She walked over to her fridge; the light making her eyes squint. Rory scanned the fridge for nothing in particular and then felt disappointed by the choices. She wished she had gone grocery shopping as she told herself to.

She gave up on finding a snack, then noticed she had forgotten to close her blinds. It surprised her when she was greeted by the creeping sunlight. It was at that moment she realized she hadn't experienced the morning dawn before, and she wanted to see it.
Rory pulled on her sneakers and grabbed her coat and her phone. She walked outside, paying no mind to the cold air. It was still much darker than light, but she hadn't enjoyed the rising morning since she was a child. And she didn't know how much she missed it until she sat down at the park bench and stared out at the ducks who were having an early swim.
Rory knew she didn't have class today. It was Saturday, after all. She wanted to enjoy the last of fall that was left before the snowfall. She leaned back, staring at the few clouds in the sky. It was funny...when she was younger, she could easily imagine clouds as different things. Now she couldn't find anything particular about them. She sighed.

Everything was so simple as a kid. Most of her adolescence she took for granted, thinking back now she felt fortunate to have the childhood she did. Even though she hated school, her home life was happy. Her dad was always upbeat and her mom was always playful. When it came down to parenting, they were the dream team. Rory wished she had paid more attention back then so that she could remember her memories more clearly. so missed her dad. She also realized how much, apart from her mom, she missed her dad.
After a while, she felt her hands trembling when she finally pulled out her phone. Pressing lightly on the screen until she found she was staring down at her mom's number. She dialed the phone number, knowing very well that it would go straight to voicemail. To no surprise, it did, and then the line ended because the voicemails were full.

She stared at a pair of ducks swimming around each other. She remembered one time her mom and dad took a stroll and she began crying because she wanted to return home with a duck. Rory laughed lightly at the memory.
She knew he needed to call her dad, but it felt harder. She wanted to know how he was and to hear his voice again, but then she'd change her mind. It was her dad, so why was she so scared?

Rory went through her contacts again and dialed her dad. Her leg bounced up and down until she heard his voice.

"Rory, is something wrong?" He sounded worried and surprised to hear from her. She could hear a background noise that sounded like sizzling. He was cooking.

"No," Rory's voice broke a little. She closed her eyes, slightly frustrated that she could find her words. "I don't know. It's just... I called mom and her voicemail is all full. I didn't expect that. I thought maybe you would have shut the line off already."

She heard her dad shuffle around. The noise of the background slowly disappeared, so she assumed he moved somewhere quieter.
"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Rory replied quietly, "I just thought it was interesting. I don't know why I even called her if I'm honest."

"I do it too," he admitted. "When I feel overwhelmed and I need her, I call her too. I know she won't pick up, but I still try."

Rory felt the warmth of her tears flood down. "Me too." She sniffled. "I miss her, dad."

I know," he croaked, "I'm so sorry. If I could have had the power to choose which one of us—"

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