When its over

Funerals and dead Lovers

*Listen to the song when you are reading this please. Enjoy. *

- Life Damages Us, Everyone.

To be honest I would have never thought I would have to bury hero this soon. I thought we would both die together but I was wrong. I wish I was never wrong. I wish he was still alive but he isn't. He suffered from a blood Clot from the brain by the time they got him to the Hospital he was already dead. I feel numb I feel fucking fucked the hell up. I don't want to live my life with hero. He made me laugh, made me cry, and last of all be myself. But now that's all fucking gone. Everything is gone I am gone my lover is gone. "Hero why did you leave me so fucking early." I cry getting dressed. We are having a funeral doe him today. Anna called and said she and all of the casts members said that they were all coming. It hurts to know that I won't ever get to see hero again. And it breaks me to say it out loud. I am not a person who loves saying goodbye to loved one's Especially when you thought you would grow old with them.

I finished putting my black dress on. Every part of me thinks this is a dream I wish it was a dream that my lover isn't dead and that my we can finally be happy but as they say happiness is only temporary. A wish is just a fucking wish you can't wish someone Alive you can't love them alive you can't beg them to com back from the fucking dead and act like nothing ever fucking happened. Because that's all bullshit. I wish I am not in this world people call home I wish I was dead like hero because then we could fucking be together.
Now we can't be together. Now hero is like a dream or a distant memory that once was alive but now dead all you can do is tell amazing fucking stories on how everything was great and perfect when he was alive.
I don't want to fall in love with someone else I don't want to have children with someone who isn't hero. I just can't, it makes me sick to think about it.
I suddenly get the urge to throw up. I rushed into the bathroom that me and hero once shared and made so many incredible memories.

I throw up everything I have left in my stomach. I lean up against the wall and just start sobbing. "Everything would have been so much better if hero was here I didn't want to lose him. J still want him to come home from work and give me a big kiss and make love to me. But now everything is cold weeks are fucking unbearable without him." I start sobbing uncontrollably.

[Flashback.]

"Jo." hero whispers weakly in my ear "yes baby." I wipe my tears. I have been crying ever since we got to the hospital. "Jo if I don't make it then I want you to find love again I want you to be happy baby I don't want you to be sad." he says making me cry even more. "How can you say that baby? I only love you I don't want to lice anyone else but you you are my first love and will always be MT last love." I say to him. I see that hero is trying so hard not to close his eyes. "Hero please don't close your eyes I need you hero." I say wiping my tears. "Baby I can't hold on anymore, it's my time love." I cut him off giving him a big kiss and he has enough strength to kiss me back. And then hero closes his eyes. "HERO?,." I shake him but no response "HERO NO,NO, NO WAKE UP." I shake him harder. And that's when I heard beeping the nurses come in and it felt like everything was in slow motion. I hug onto his dead body for dear life crying my heart out.
But they removed me from his body. And that's when my life came crumbling down my hero was dead. And life wad never going to be the same.

Hero won't ever be here for his birthday or dance with me again.

"love come and dance with me please." hero said in a loving tone and we danced around in our little apartment.

"happy birthday baby." he kisses my cheek. "You look so fucking stunning my love." he whispers in My ear.

"you look so perfect baby girl." he whispers as he holds me tight. "I love you so much baby Jo you are mine forever and always." he says and kisses My neck.

[End of Flashback.]

"Jo sweetheart are you ready." I hear Anna as she makes her way into our room hero's and mine. "Yeah I am ready just give me a minute." I say and my voice cracks. Life is a fucking mess and Now it's time to bury my dead lover that I fucking miss so fucking much.

                                  

       Authors note:

Hello hello I told you to bring your Tissues when you read this. Poor Jo. I'm just gonna go crying now in the corner.😭😭💔. Anyways I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing this book. Until next time.😘.