Chapter 16

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^Trigger warning⚠️ self harm!and almost suicide!^

"Hey guys" we heard them before we saw them and Tyler quickly pulled away standing up

"Hey" he said without much emotion

"Why are you on the ground?" Mason questioned giving me an odd look. I shrug standing up

"Where's your bag?" Mesa asked looking around. In the moment of me trying to get away I left it in the class. Grabbing my paper and pen from my sweatshirt pocket

"I think I left it in class by accident. I'll be back" I handed the book to Mesa and took of towards the building quickly

'Why the hell did he just act as though he didn't help me through a panic attack? It kind of hurt that he turned so cold afterwards, was I really that bad to help? '

I walk into the empty class and spot my bag next to my desk in the back. Walking out of the classroom I realize not many people are in the hall, I look at the doors that lead to the courtyard that then leads to the back-way off of campus

I look back down the hall towards the parking lot and quickly make the decision to head out the back way, I was honestly tired of being a burden on their group and especially Ashley and Tyler. I didn't want Ashley to think that she had to provide a home and food for me, also I didn't want Tyler to have to portend to care about me. I throw my hood over my head and face heading through the courtyard

I could feel everyone's stares and hear them talking, couldn't they do anything else? I walked all the way off of campus and towards out of town. I honestly didn't know where I was going, I just knew I needed to get away. After about an hour of walking I realized where I was, my old house. The house I spent the last four years being abused in, sucking in a breath I reached for the door nob.

I push open the door seeing as it was unlocked. Stepping inside I could smell the blood. Quickly I shut the door and turn on the living room light to see dry blood all over the floor and some on the walls, the curtains were close blocking any sun coming in. Sighing I make my way up to my old room also finding it almost exactly the same as I left it. They didn't really mess with anything, which I'm glade for

Setting my bag down I head for my small closet and rummage through my old clothes, once I find my favorite baggie hoodie and sweats I change feeling much better. I throw open my curtains and sit at my window looking out down the long empty drive way that led to a dirt road. I felt at peace in a weird way, maybe this feeling of being at peace was a way of telling myself that I just needed to leave earth now

I look at my window ceil now able to find my knife before looking around my room towards my little bathroom. I head over and look at the counter top to see my knife sitting right there, I pick it up slowly and run my finger over the blade to see how sharp it was. I move over to the tub and start the water before plugging the hole, letting it fill up. I remove my sweatshirt leaving me in my sweats and sports bra

Once the tub it full enough I slowly climb in and lower myself into it. I bring the knife up to my wrist and make the first cut. I continue until the water starts to turn bloody and I start to feel tired and dizzy. I almost stop myself from lowering myself into the he tub when I hear noise coming from in the house, but I ignore it and lay down. Releasing my breath I can feel myself start to drown. Then everything starts to go blank

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614 words

I almost cried making this chapter😢

Again if anyone has suicidal thoughts please get help! I promise you that killing yourself will NOT make life easier it'll only make life harder for your loved ones. Trust me I know the feeling and I'll tell you it's not fun

Anyways please vote, comment, and follow

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1- What are your feelings on Tyler's behavior?

2- Do you like baggie clothes?

3- Should Gracie have gone back to the group? OR was she right to leave?

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Republished date- June 20, 2021

Love,
~ TheDevil

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