Pain Mascara

Chapter 08

I remember Mark driving me to the university as an arrangement made by dad, he was dad’s most reliable coworker apart from uncle Steve because dad never use anyone other than Mark or Steve in his personal matters. Maybe dad was so reluctant to be facing me after all what happened but I was happy that he never did because I never had the interest over seeing him again ever since what happened after all. That was the longest ride from home to university. And here I am again in the apartment with my lonely life.

Feeling loneliness inside the mind could possibly be the worst sensation a human could go through, no matter how rich your parents are or how much they could afford on your life, education, is not possibly the answer for a teenage life, specially for a young girl like me, that’s how I felt that night. The life, misery, emptiness within my heart could have broken me in to pieces that night in the loneliness I was wrapped up in that cold night in the apartment all by myself. I picked up the phone and spoke to mom, never showed her any change and pretended that I had the best vacation with Jerrard and dad together. Was glad that she didn’t see my facial expressions but inside I was so sad to be lying to my beautiful mother whom I treated as an angel who was brought from heaven.

After hanging up on the phone I went to have a shower and spend so many hours inside crying out loud and trying to forget all the misery and pain I went through at home. And I went to sleep and I guess I slept for about twelve hours or more.

Not hearing from Joe or Jerrard made me miss them more and more. After trying all possible ways of getting through to them figuring out that all those were an utter failure I realized that maybe they are also finding their own ways of living a life.

As days goes by, me concerning only about my university studies after putting all my effort and energy I managed to complete my first year here at California State University while being the best performing student for the year among all the students which made me to get a half percent scholarship sponsored by the university on my education. And not forgetting dad he funded fully on my education no matter what, and as a result of the scholarship I’ve got from the university I managed to save some money which dad funded on my education as a lump sum.  I wonder whether I suspected my future, what it’s going to be, or how it’s going to end up to do so.

And here again the holidays comes my summer vacation which is going to be around for another three months, so here I am going home, back again to the leigh miserable.