Pain Mascara

Chapter 07

Here back again in the university with me and my loneliness I got stuck again with my usual studies and there you go I am getting my vacations. “Yipeee, time to go home” That’s what I thought of when I realized that vacation bells are ringing on my head.

Even without informing Jerrard or Sheila I thought of taking my own way home just over to surprise them. It has been a year ever since I moved to California State University and now I wonder how it feels like to be home.

When I went home it was not like the day I left home. I met Sheila and the rest of the co workers at home, not even a foot print of Jerrard or dad. I picked up the phone and rang Jerrard many times thinking that he would pick up the phone but all my efforts were gone only for a six as all calls reached only his voice mail. I questioned million times from Sheila what’s wrong with Jerrard knowing that he would be picking up the phone seeing my number but she never replied.

After all my efforts I managed to take those unspoken words out of Sheila’s mouth. She was on tears when explaining me what happened around. “What Jerrard moved out, that can’t be? But why Sheila?”, I asked her back with so much surprise.

I went in to his room upstairs to see whether she was joking with me, but all I saw was his empty wardrobe, that’s all. I sat on his bed and cried all alone and that day I slept on his bed all alone without speaking a word with Sheila or any in the house.

Next day morning I woke up out of the bed and I walked in to my room which was next to Jerrard’s and it was as same as the day I left it, nothing being touched or moved. I had a shower and walked in to the dining room to see whether Sheila is round.

She was washing the plates on the sink and I just watched her doing her work, and after speaking to her only I realized that dad has reached home so late and waiting for me at the dining table.

Returning to the dining room I see dad dressed up in his usual business attire at the dining table and I sat on my usual place where I used to sit, to the left side of dad. Dinner table was like a cemetery, no laugh, I felt like just sitting next to a robot. I looked right in front where Jerrard used to sit, it was empty and I recall how it would have been if he was around. I missed his smile and humor, care and love. We ate without talking to each other and suddenly breaking the silence dad stood up from the table excusing me and said,“Stephie, it’s so good to see you home sweetie, I am so sorry for not spending time with you, I got to go”, as usual he hasn’t still given up on his busy life style. And nevertheless it was all a lie spending time with me because that’s one of the things which he has never done for me.

Almost five days gone, in the deserted home. I tried calling on Jerrard but he never picked the phone. Maybe he thought that it was not me, but why he would have thought so because for sure he should possibly know that this is probably my vacation time and I would possibly be home by now. Speaking to Sheila all about what happened around almost burst me out with tears and pain. Finally I boycott eating with my dad whom I named as Mr. Rascal knowing that he was the reason for Jerrard leaving home too.

But one fine evening I heard him coming back home with a lady, Mrs. Anderson to be. Stylish, with make up all over, The Wicked Queen of Our Lives, who finally took away Jerrard from my life, which Sheila never told me or put out scaring that I might also leave home. Truth cannot be hidden always that’s the reality in life.

All I remember now is Sheila knocking on my door and requesting me to join dad and the wicked queen in the living room for coffee. I walked out of the room slamming the door to show my anger and walked in to the living room. Dad was seated in the sofa in his usual way with the wicked queen leaning on to him. That’s how my mom used to be with him, but all I remember was her sad face and the echoing of quarrels they both have left in this room, now I am here looking back at dad with so much anger. If not his busy life and Steve my uncle who separated my mom and dad, they both would have been the best couple and best parents on earth while we four becoming the best family in LA, I would say. Hiding the tears on my face I sat in front of both of them.

As soon as dad sees me he coughed at the wicked queen, maybe he was so embarrassed to be sitting in front of a sixteen year old young daughter with his girl friend or wife to be or whatever. “Jessica please meet my beautiful daughter Stephanie, Stephie Please meet Jessica….”, so he began his drama and all I did was watching both of them with so much agony inside my childish mind.

That evening was the scariest one in my life. And I remember dad went to drop her back in his BMW which he never let even Jerrard to drive. I waited, waited, waited with so much misery and pain in my mind, for dad to return home after dropping his Mrs. Anderson to be, the storm which he brought in home. I don’t know for how long I waited him to be home but I guess I slept even on the couch that night waiting for him to come.

That was late in the night when he returned home, I woke up for the sound of the keys turning around the key hole. He was drunk, fully drunk, walking with the help of Mark his associate.

As soon as he reached in to the living room I walked to him with anger, “Here why you never stopped Jerrard leaving home ah??? Is it because of your Mrs. Anderson to be? Why? Why you never let mama be like that? You are a rascal, a rascal, you screwed all of our lives, I hate you, hate you, hate you………..”, those words are still echoing on my head and  all I remember was dad slapping me on my face. That’s all I could remember now and next day morning here I am sleeping on my bed with Sheila next to me.

I have already been so lost and alone as a kid, now as a teenager also I am the same. I cried so many times and spend my worst vacation here at my dad’s living hell. I never called mom who’s having a peaceful life in Washington with grandma because I was fully aware that if she gets to know all those she would cry or even commit suicide, because I know though no matter what she even still love dada a lot. I never tried calling Jerrard because I knew that  he would be finding his hard way working things out to start up a new life and maybe he never wanted to let me know the misery he’s been going through in front of all the drama he saw at home as a boy in his twenties.

Somehow I spent my whole vacation at dad’s because I never had a cure other than hanging around there. And as a dependent teenager I never had any other way of doing things alone.

The last day at home I was so happy to be leaving to university which became my own home later on. That day was horrible Sheila cried a lot maybe she thought that I would also never return. And I still remember me leaving a note to dad on his dressing table saying;

“Dad….

I never expected you to be behaving this way, You actually Screwed our lives and guess now even yours….

Stephanie”

That’s all I remember.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hi guys, this is my first novel.... Please vote & comment ...... Sorry for any gramatical errors.... Thanks ..... With Love Ramee