Ace of Hearts

Standing Here

Namjoo probably hated him now.

Sehun stared up the stairs longingly. This was the signal for him to leave, go back to work. He foolishly went up after Namjoo full well aware she did not want to look at the sight of him. She had hoped for his reconciliation with Jin so she could leave.

It was all about leaving him.

All that he was making impossible for her to.

In all this, he was the bad guy. Carrying on a scenario and forcing Namjoo to play along with him.

Yes, she most likely hated his guts.

The bedroom door was closed. Locked. Sehun didn't have to test the knob to know. He stood on the other side of the barrier. Desperately yearning to make it right.

Except he didn't know how to. There were too many things he didn't know about Namjoo. The basics like what her favorite color was, her favorite foods, if she favored fancy over simplicity, did she like romance or action movies.

How to approach her in a way that would make her heart race, so that she would always think about him around the clock too. Did she wait every day for him to come home? Was she comforted by his presence every night? Were there times when she missed him?

If there were things he could inherently know it would be these. Reading Namjoo's mind and learning the things she thought about him so he didn't always have to second guess or wait for that perfect time.

"I'm leaving." He spoke hoping Namjoo was listening. "Don't stay in the room all day." He waited a beat. "I'm going."

Sehun stepped away, paused, glanced back, and then finally left with his heart hanging heavily. At work his mind fazed. While sitting at the round table meeting, he flipped his phone over and over. Wanting to call home. Verify that Namjoo hadn't locked herself in. She hadn't packed up and left him a letter like the first time.

He wanted to hear her voice. Hear her tell him, "I'm not angry at you."

But he didn't call.

Late afternoon when he reached home, Sehun hesitated outside the door. A hand hovering over the knob. Afraid.

What if Namjoo had left?

What if he walked inside to an empty home?

Everything might be gone except the pre-wedding portraits.

Sehun didn't want to be alone.

He didn't want Namjoo to leave him behind.

Or hate him.

Or dislike him.

Spending his days staring at this perfect person in pictures and replaying every second of every moment.

Opening the door, his heart tremoring, Sehun peeked inside. The couch was empty amplifying his fear. Eyes floated up to the giant poster hanging above the kitchen entrance. Jarring him back in time to hear the photographer instructing him and Namjoo to hold their pose. Of when he smelled the perfume that had gravely enticed him. Namjoo wondering whether he needed a psych checkup.

It almost brought a laugh to his lips. Namjoo suspecting him of the worst, always.

Sehun smelled food cooking. Fully entering the home, he closed the door at his back and slipped out of his shoes. A quick glance up the stairs. Namjoo wasn't running down to meet him.

Bravely pushing forward Sehun went into the kitchen. Taking it one step at a slow time. Cautious. Nervous. Readying himself for what he might find.