A Dying Girl's List

chapter 18

Pit-pat. Pit-pat. Pit-pat.

Droplets of water dripped from the gutters onto the windowpane. Softly hitting the pane in a rhythmic thump.

The pitter-patter of the rain woke Lissa, but she remained on her bed, and focused her ears on the sounds of the slight drizzle hitting her window. She had always found the rain, calming. Especially now, when everything around her was anything but calm.

She liked the rain. It gave her hope through the bad times, reminded her that this too shall pass and that a rainbow of new beginnings and good times would be waiting for her after the rain.

A little while later, she decided to get ready for the day, but since it was raining, Lissa decided not to do anything for today. She texted Jace to let him know that he didn't have to come by, and stepped into the shower. The gentle pitter-patter of the rain switched to hard droplets pelting to the ground. She drowned out the rain with the shower water. The way the warm water sprayed all over her body, relaxed her tense muscles.

If only I could wash away the cancer. She thought, lathering her body with soap.

Each time she was alone and there was silence around her, those sort of thoughts would arise and her mood would change. She tried to control it, but in the end she realised that this was her subconscious harshly reminding her that the List wasn't just for fun.

After the shower, she changed into a grey sweatshirt and sweatpants and tied a wet, messy bun on top of her head.
She took out the shoebox of memories and sat criss-cross on the bed, her back against the headboard.

She looked through every single picture in that box. Re-edited the letter she wrote for Jace, and just sat there gawking at the stunning Polaroids, captured over the past months.

She then realized something, when she was looking at the photo of her in front of her secret place...

From the next day, the 'eleven months left months' countdown starts for her.

Time sure has flown by. Her death was slowly approaching and very soon it'll be the end of Melissa Stewarts.

She already looks and feels like death.

A few tears escaped her eyes, as she kept flipping through the Polaroids. She could not stop the endless waterfall of salty tears from flowing. All she could do was sit there and let the despair take over her mind as she just kept staring at the happy memories she had made. This may be Jace's box, but, she'd keep all of these memories in a tiny box inside of her for as long as she lived in the afterlife.

When the showers outside, became a mere drizzle again, she stuffed the Polaroids back in the box, wiped her face, and pushed the box under the bed. The time, on her wristwatch, was eleven thirty pm. The day had gotten away with her. Lissa was nowhere near sleepy, tired?, sure, but that was because of the crying, so she decided to watch some TV. She searched her bedside drawers for the remote and when she found it, she snuggled in under the covers and scrolled through Netflix.

Maybe a comedy would help. She thought, scrolling through the comedy category. She finally decided on watching The Hangover. When she felt her eyes were beginning to fall closed, she switched off the movie as well as the TV, put the remote back in the drawer, and fell asleep to the soft sounds of the years of the clouds.