A Dying Girl's List

Chapter 13

(14 months left) (March, April, May, June)

Four months had passed since Jace walked out of her room, yet...she realized something the day after...

He was right.

Lissa didn't want to admit it to herself at first, but he was. The List was her idea, and she was determined to finish it in time. She had just used Steph's death as an excuse to lash out and stall the completion of the List. For some reason, she felt like that was the right thing to do. But, without Jace, she saw how wrong her thinking was.

So, she decided she couldn't do that anymore. It wouldn't be fair towards her, towards Steph, or even towards Jace. It was her List. She was the one who sat up, thinking about what put on it, that night.

And if she wanted to get even remotely close to finishing it, Lissa would have to move on from – not forget – Steph.

•

She completed number fifty-one about two days after her realization. This one was probably the dirtiest one on the List. What came over her when she added that to the List. She didn't know...but now, at least she can say she has tried mud-sliding, and, without a doubt, is never trying it again.

Ever.

That was another thing crossed off her List, number fifty-one: go mud-sliding.

After that, it was number fifty-two: get a third piercing on her ear.

This one hurt even more than the first two piercings, because her dumb self, decided to get her tragus pierced. But she completed it, despite the pain. What good will a piercing do her after her death? Oh well! What's done was done. A couple of things, she realized, won't be much help to her after she dies. So she thought she'd pawn them off on Jace. He might like that...

Anyway, number fifty-three was next: send a message in a bottle.

This one was the same as the balloon one from not-so-long-ago, but with a different message. This might get further away than the other one. For all she knows, a bird could've popped the balloons a long time ago. At least this one will be drifting away.

Lissa found the perfect quote by Walter Hagen to put in the bottle.

You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

She re-read the quote ten times, before finally deciding on it. She squeezed the letter into the narrow neck of the blue glass bottle she found, used the cork to seal it tightly, and threw it in the ocean.

After that, was number fifty-four: put a lock on the love bridge.

She did this one, the same day as number fifty-three. She had to drive a bit further out, till she got to the Atwater Village Love Lock Bridge, with a quick stop at the store in between, for a lock and key.

She snapped close the heart-shaped lock on the bridge, for Steph and Jace, with a short, silent prayer after that, but instead of throwing the key into the ocean, she put it in her sweatpants' pocket, deciding to keep it in her box of memories. She walked along the bridge, glancing down at the water every so often, to see the water rippling as other tourists threw their keys in the river, and the sunlight reflected off of it. Her finger trailed along all the locks attached to the bridge. She smiled apologetically as she slid and bent past people to avoid photo-bombing their pictures.

When she stopped at the end of the pier, she inhaled deeply. The fresh, crisp air entered her lungs. It was peaceful, despite all the noise. Lissa tuned out the shouting that came from behind her until it all became faded background noise. It was moments like these that slipped through her fingers. She never really had any time for herself. School constantly took up most of her time. She was trying her utmost best to constantly maintain her 'perfect-grades' record. She studied hard, because she was told she was going to take over the business someday. And what a lie that was. She was so...encompassed by her schoolwork, she missed out on the tiny, exciting, peaceful, lovable moments life had to offer. She finally saw why Steph was such an outgoing person. It was nice out here. Less suffocating.