A Dying Girl's List

Chapter 22

(10 months left) (October)

Steph's birthday.

October tenth.

She would've been twenty. If she was still here.

Lissa woke up with a sigh when she saw the date circled in red on the calendar on her bedside table.

She got dressed, after a quick shower, in a black skater skirt, a plain, black top, paired with her black knee-high boots. Jace usually showed up at around twelve every day, so she left at nine. Hoping to make it back before he showed up. She got in her car, and drove to the flower shop, to buy a dozen marigolds.

Steph's favorite flowers.

Lissa drove to the cemetery and walked to Steph's grave. She placed the flowers in front of Steph's tombstone, alongside a picture of the both of them she had framed, not too long ago.

The last picture they took together, at the bungee-jumping.

She sat there, and spoke to Steph, “I wish you were still here Steph. I wish you didn't leave me.” her voice wavered, and she felt a lump forming in her throat.

She tried swallowing it down, but it didn't work.

“Uhm. On a sad note,” she cleared her throat, “I only have ten more months left...but on a happier note, my birthday is the day after tomorrow. On an even sadder note, that still won't bring you back.” Lissa clasped the picture in her hands, as a tear escaped from her eye, “I miss you so much, Steph. So much. The days are becoming so much more unbearable as my end slowly approaches. Gosh, that's sounds so cliché.” she chuckled then sobbed,

“Jace doesn't know this yet, but...I'm getting weaker by the day.” she whispered, “He's pretty much oblivious to that fact. Mostly because--” she swallowed, “--I put up this facade whenever he's around. I pretend like I have a ton of energy, but in reality, I can barely keep my eyes open anymore." she glanced at her wristwatch and gasped when she saw it was already eleven am,

“Time is not on my side,” she didn't know if she meant about the fact that Jace might show up at her house any minute now, or the fact that her time was running out, “I gotta go, and I'm sorry for visiting now only, but it's been...a busy couple of months." she told her, placing the picture back on its place. "I love you, Steph. Happy birthday, and we'll see each other soon.” she stood up from her seat on the grass, walked to her car, and drove back home.

When she reached home, she plucked a random novel from the bookshelf, and sat herself down on the window seat, in the living room. Once she was comfortable, she read the title of the book she had grabbed — The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Lissa opened the novel at the page she read last. Dorian had just found out that his picture was aging...

Lissa was so absorbed in the novel, she barely heard the knock on the door. Lissa called out a “Come in,”, and when Jace rounded the corner, she stood up and stowed the novel back on the shelf. She looked at the clock and saw that it was just past twelve. Lissa mentally gasped at how fast the time flew.

Was it just her? Or was time speeding up?

“Hey there, what was that you were reading?” he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

“The Picture Of Dorian Gray,” she answered and he nodded,

“Have you been crying, Lissa? Your eyes are bloodshot,” he observed, a solicitous look appearing on his face.

“It's Steph's birthday today.” she divulged, “I went to her grave this morning. Had a bit of a chat. Cried.” she shrugged.

He stepped forward, withdrew his hands from his pockets, and tugged her into a tight embrace. They stood there, hugging for quite a while until Lissa reluctantly pulled back and told him she would be right back.