A Dying Girl's List

Chapter 19

"Good morning, Lissa," she heard as the bed dipped beside her.

There's only one person who greets her like that. The one person who made her smile without even trying. The one and only...

"Morning...why are you up so early?" she asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Even though she knew who it was, she still wanted to make sure...

"I couldn't sleep. The couch was uncomfortable, so I thought I'd lay with you," he spoke in his morning voice. She loved the sort of edge it had, plus the soft growl purring in her ear.

She smiled. That was adorably cute. Her ex-boyfriend wanted to cuddle with her.

Some might think that's weird, but not Lissa.

Why?

Because she still loved him. Always has.

The breakup was just due to unfortunate circumstances, and she was sure he, as much as she, didn't like it as well. She thought about the break-up multiple times, from different perspectives over the last couple of weeks. From his perspective, she saw where he was coming from, and she understood why he made that decision.

It was hard for him to do it, yes, but even harder for him to stay in a relationship, with a dying girl. Even if he didn't care that she was dying. He's overlooked that detail many times in the past.

"You're already in so, why not!" she replied, with a giggle.

She loved how he could make her sound like a lovesick pre-teen, talking to her crush. She loved his caramel skin, his sparkling brown eyes, his soft fingers whenever he would caress her cheeks, but most importantly, she loved him.

He covered his bottom half with the blanket and scooted even closer towards her. She laid her head on his chest, and just enjoyed the moment.

Lissa and Jace... Together again... Forever.

"No!" Lissa yelled out.

She shot upright. An ocean of sweat swam down her forehead. She inhaled and exhaled deeply and quickly, while her heart pounded in her ears. Her tongue was dry, and her sweat began to mix with her tears.

Her door slammed open a couple of seconds later, and revealed a frantic Jace. He ran straight to Lissa and engulfed her in a hug, when he saw her sobbing. She tried pushing away, but he held her tight. She was too tired to try and fight the hug even more, so she just sat there, with his arms wrapped around her. He whispered calming words in her ear, albeit, stroking her hair.

"Shh, it's okay. It was just a nightmare, it's okay," he soothed, cupping her face.

His eyes scanned hers as if he could stare into the depths of her soul. As if he had figured out the inner turmoil she was facing.

"Forever doesn't exist, it doesn't exist," she repeatedly stated.

She removed her gaze from his, and embraced him again, rested her head on his shoulder, and sobbed even louder.

"What do you mean, Lissa?" Jace asked rubbing circles on her back.

"Shh, please, just hold me," she said, and a hiccup escaped her throat.

He kissed her temple and remained quiet. The moonlight that shone through the curtains was the only light source in the room. Bathing them in its fall night glow as they sat in the middle of the bed, hugging.