Once in a lifetime

You must be my once in a lifetime

*The best part of me was always you* she looked at her phone screen as she waited for the next move eyeing him from across the living room to the kitchen. 
*Saranghae Yoongi* she replied as she looked at those around her tonight. 
"Thank you for dinner" her family kissed her before heading to their hotel as she bid them farewell, his family had left a little before. Contrary to what he had said and what she knew of them, they were quite warm and whilst they showed it differently she most certainly saw their love. She had understood worrying was love, as she worried for Deiji constantly, worried about him in their time apart; she knew when it looked back at her. That worry that came across as pain, that sometimes to support someone wasn't always to have faith but to prepare them for the worst. Heartbreak also laid in disappointment and to see your child in any sort of pain was the worst for any parent, she had seen it so clearly in his parents eyes. 
*I left something for you in your box* as she eyed him across the room, he chatted away with Jin, Hoseok and Namjoon. 

"I will be back" she looked at her maknae line as they played cards knowing that her hand would change if she left it there. They all laughed as she stood up and walked away with her hand of cards eyeing them. 

My most darling Amara, 

I cant explain how much I have longed for and waited for it to finally be here. Whether I can wait and give it to you on our wedding day or the night before, to tell you above all else that I am yours always. I have never completely told you how much I missed you in the 3 months we were apart, I tried to forget and I tried to let you go and be happy. The day you told me you resigned I wished I had the strength to have gotten you to stay. 

Once I told you that I made a mistake of not saying how I felt to someone but I never regretted it. I have never regretted anything more than almost losing you but you told me that even if you find the right person at the wrong time, you may still lose them. Now I know you were right, that everything we had to go through made us stronger and made us, us. I have never loved you more than in the last few months. 

On your day off we went to visit Deiji, in between shooting a few days ago I went with everyone and I promised her I will protect you, I promised her I will take care of her mumma and never hurt you, to always be there when you need me and  tomake you smile. I cant wait to make Deiji a big sister, she will be one soon and even if the day doesn't pass by fast I will be by your side when you need me. 

For understanding me when my words wont come out, when I stumble or knowing me inside and out. You once told me when the world stopped turning, you would be there at the end. At the end of that isle; that is my end, the only end I could imagine or want. The only end I can see now, if all the roads I have to walk are winding it wont matter as long as they lead to you. Forever will never be enough. 

That all our mistakes in the past would now be alright and healed, that perhaps what Deiji wanted for us was to be together and learn how much we loved each other. That her short time on earth was so worth it as she made us parents, she showed us the love we have and she showed us that even with time love is not forgotten. Our love wont be forgotten even when our world ends. 

Because of Deiji, I learnt that I love you more each day. 
Because of us, I know I need you each and every day. 
Because of you, I want you more each and every day. 
Always, Yoongi 

She wiped away silent tears as his words hit her, in front of her he was never a maestro with words but in letters and writing like his lyrics he could bring her to her knees as she collapsed sitting on the edge of the bed. She dipped her head into her legs and cupped her face as tears streamed down her face. She breathe in controlling her silent sobs but she couldn't stop the tears.