On My Own Time

Chapter 20

"How about you boys go on up and play some games while we chat?" My mother offered.

We had just finished eating and Hector helped me clean the table. Of course, after Victor saw he joined in and left Max to deal with Caden. I felt bad but I did need to clean up the kitchen though. Hector and Victor were just being nice. Well, Hector was being nice, Victor was being jealous.

"Caden, show them that experiment you've been working on," Victor said, grabbing my arm from the back to stop me from walking.

Caden nodded and pushed Max up the stairs, Max complaining on the way and Hector following after his cousin. Victor walked us to my room and I closed the door behind me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Victor but it was too late.

"So, you were practically drooling over the new guy."

"Can you blame me? I'm a single young man with desires," I replied with a cheeky smile.

Victor pulled me to him and whispered, "I should be your only desires."

Just like that he had all my attention. Screw him for having an affect on me. He stared down at me with his perfect eyes, his strong arms holding me in place. And then I ruined the moment by thinking of that girl again. Thinking of those kisses that they shared.

"You said you wanted me," I mumbled.

"I do."

"Then why haven't you kissed me?"

"I have," Victor argued back.

"You know what I mean," I said and attempted to get out of his hold.

"You're the one that said we should stop this."

"Yes, so why are you jealous?"

"Why are you of that girl you saw me with?" He argued back. "I can't stop my feelings. I can't kiss you because I'm not ready to come out."

"I'm not either but I was talking about a kiss when it's just us two like right now."

"You send me mix signals," he said and let go of me. "You want me but don't."

"I want you but can't," I mumbled.

"Why? We both don't want to come out. What's the problem with being together but secretly?"

"You'll still put on an act and kiss that girl. Tell me I'm wrong."

"Well I can't just suddenly stop. People will suspect something."

"That's my point. We can't be together because I can't ask you to change your life to be in a secret relationship with me. You won't stop the act and it'll hurt when I see it."

"So that's it? We flirt, you make me happy, but nothing?"

"Victor, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to lead you on. We have to be fair here. It wouldn't do either of us good to constantly be jealous, to constantly wonder if when you kiss a girl or if a guy flirts with me that the feeling is the same for us. You got jealous that I hung out with Max, Victor. Do you really think you'd be able to keep your cool if I hang out with him or if you see Hector flirting with me?"

He looked down and sighed. His shoulders slumped and he sat down on my bed. He really looked upset and that made me feel bad. But it was the truth. I wouldn't be able to see him kiss a girl when he was technically my boyfriend. I'd be burning with jealousy like I already was and everyone would be able to notice. No matter what, it ends with people finding out or us not working in the end.

"You want me to stop kissing girls? Fine. I won't flirt, I won't kiss anyone, I will remain loyal. Just be with me," he said, grabbing my hands and pulling me to him.

"Really? You'll do it?"

"As long as you cool it with the dudes you hang around with. I don't want to fight them and make them embarrassed by them losing." 

I couldn't stop the chuckle and he laughed. He kissed my knuckles and pulled me until I was sitting on his lap. I was sort of freaking out but at the same time I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to show me that he was real about it. If he was going to actually stop then I'd no doubt be loyal 100%. But I needed to make sure he was sure about this. I craved his attention, his wants, his everything. I wanted to be his but I wanted him to be mine as well.

"You stop the kissing and flirting and I'll stop the flirting."

His hands went up my thighs to my sides and he leaned in, placing a small kiss on my neck. I was sure he could feel how fast my heart was beating but I didn't care as he placed another kiss on my jaw. So, this is what it felt to be in an intimate position with Victor. He really was able to make your heat race and make you feel special. 

"So, you're mine?" he whispered.

"As long as you're mine," I whispered back and slowly leaned forward.

"Diego! Open the door!" Max said and banged on it.

Victor chuckled lowly and gently pulled me off. He turned on my TV and grabbed the remote, quickly going to Netflix and looking up comedy. He whispered to me to say it's open to act like we didn't purposely lock the door.

"It's not open, dude!"

I loudly groaned to play the part and opened it. Max walked in like nothing, Hector following and surprisingly Caden. Max sat down on the floor while Hector sat down on my bed. Caden sat down on the floor between Victor and Max. I guess movie night was happening in my room, though I wasn't too sure about Caden being here.

"Why was the door locked?" Hector asked.

"Hmm? Oh I have a habit of locking it."

"Oh, well what were you guys up to?"

"I asked Diego if I could watch  a movie in his room since I got tired of the smell of Caden's experiment."

"What experiment?" I couldn't help but ask.

I saw Max visibly shiver and his nose crinkled. Caden chuckled and threw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him closer and roughly ruffling his hair. Max shoved him off in a not so friendly way but that just made Caden chuckle even more. Of course this pissed off Max and he went to sit next to Hector. Caden rolled his eyes and moved to sit on my desk chair. I sat down next to Victor but not to close. Just enough to be close to him but not to seem suspicious. He glanced at me and I saw the tiniest smile ever grace his lips.

That smile was going to make it all worth the struggle.