Big Dreams

Chapter 16: Miguel's decision

I felt like a grown up because I had a job and that was the different part of my life which made me feel mature but I didn't do almost anything else considering that I was puting nearly all my salary aside so, besides that, everything was the same.

My brother was growing up really fast and, when Christmas arrived he was always saying the word "presents" and I pretended I wasn't the one who taught him that word. It was amazing to have a kid at the house, it made everyone happier and I frequently left with my brother for walks on the weekend. 

Miguel and I had dinner at my place or went out once or twice a month, after we both got out of work. People started asking us when we would live together or get married which was extremely weird for me since we were only 23 and 24 years old but I could see that my father was starting to get worried about me leaving his house. If only he knew...

I spent my 24th birthday working and then went to my father's house to have dinner with my family and Gulli, Francisca, Mateo and, of course, Miguel. Dan had moved to Switzerland after finishing his master's degree, Marta was still living with Martim in Finland and Trina went to Brazil after graduation, she was still not sure what she wanted to do, so I couldn't be with any of them.

- "Why don't we go out tonight?" Miguel asked me one day after picking me up in the hospital for dinner.

- "I told you I don't wanna spend any money in unnecessary things."

- "Oh come on, Sara, we both have stable jobs we can afford to go out one night."

- "Well I'm sorry if I'm thinking about my future and if I wanna choose where to spend my money or not." I was upset, it wasn't the first time we had that same argument.

- "So this is about me not giving you an answer."

- "No, Miguel, this is me thinking about my future which cannot depend on your time to make a decision or even saying what you wanna do."

- "Are you saying that you have already decided to go?"

- "Isn't that obvious? I mean, I told you precisely that."

- "And I didn't gave you an answer so you're just not thinking about our relationship."

- "Miguel just stop! You were the one who told me I had to follow my dreams and that I couldn't let anyone, including you, get in the middle of that. And I've tried to discuss this with you but you never talk to me about it so yes, now I'm thinking about myself while you decide about our relationship."

- "It's my fault that you can't wait?"

- "No but you don't even think about it. Do you know the amount of things we need to do before emigrating? And do you know that once we start the process it can take months or even years for them to accept us to go and live in the country? I'm not saying for us to leave tomorrow, I'm saying I need to know what you want because there's things to take care of and yes I wanna start the process as soon as I can." I was angry, how could he blame me on that? "Now take me home, if you don't mind, I've lost my appetite".

Miguel didn't say a word and just started driving. We didn't talk all the way to my house.

- "Thanks, good night." I said coldly.

- "Is this how it will be?" he asked with an expression I couldn't read.

- "Till you decide what you wanna do with your life and if you want me to be part of it, yes."

When I got home, Beni was there and made me sign the sign to be quiet and I noticed Afonso was sleeping on the couch.

- "He just fell asleep. Shouldn't you be with Miguel?"