What About Me?

Am I Catching Feelings?- Chapter Eight

Kuroo's POV

I'm sitting here trying to process what is going on. I bought Kenma a new phone because I knew he broke his phone, but I didn't know he hurt himself. He had thought that I was talking about the broken glass and how he grabbed it, but I wasn't. I was only told that his phone was broken, but this is unbelievable... Why would Kenma hurt himself and think he deserves it? Why didn't he tell me about it, why didn't he tell me about anything before? I feel as if he's shut himself off from me, then again, that's probably my fault. I tore up our friendship, I stopped hanging out with him, I'm the one who left him. I don't want to lose him, he's my bestest friend, even if he doesn't call me that, he'll always be my best friend. No one could ever replace him.

Maybe I should tell him all of that instead of just thinking it, that would be a good idea.

"Kenma... Why do you think you deserve something like that? Because I can surely tell you, you don't. Also, if you're ever feeling down or something happens like this, please tell me. I will never force you to talk to me, but just know that I am here for you, and I always will be. Please, never forget that." He looks up at me in a surprised way. "You're not mad at me-? Or even uspest with me?" I shake my head. "I'm only upset because I don't want to see you hurt, but I'm not mad at you. If anything, you should be mad at me. I always say that I'm here for you, which I am, but I wasn't in high school. After I started dating Nakio, I just stopped hanging out with you and everyone really. I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry I left you. You're my bestest friend Kenma, I hope that you can forgive me."

He smiles softly, and wipes his teary eyes. I feel his arms wrap around me, so I put my arm around him. "No need to apologize dumbass... I understand. You're living your life, I'm not going to hold you back from that. Enjoy your time with Nakio, don't worry about me. Even though I end up giving you things to worry about..." His head is facing away from me, almost as if he's still ashamed from what he did to his hands. "Oh, and as to why I thought I deserved it, it's just because I'm a nuisance and a worry. I was upset when I received your- Nakio's- message, so I went out and didn't tell Akaashi or Bokuto where I was going. Just because I was upset. It just made me feel like I was being childish and not caring how the people who care for me felt in the moment. I know no one likes to see me this way, it's not like it's fun for me either. But, I'm glad you all stick around. I'd honestly be gone without you all by my side..." The last part was spoken in a quiet tone, but I could hear him. "The same goes for you, I'm glad that you handle all of my bullshit behavior. I really am sorry for what Nakio did, I don't want to keep saying that she did it out of jealousy, because I don't even know if that's the truth. If you don't want to talk to her again, that's fine... But let me talk to her and figure some things out, m'kay?" I feel him nod in response. "I don't hate her," he sighs in between. "I'm just mad to be honest. And I won't mind to see her again, I'll just let her know how I feel whether you like it or not." I shrug. "Fine by me, I didn't think you'd just let her slide like that anyway." A soft laughs leaves him and he nods. "Now, let's play some games, I'm ready to beat your ass." I grip the controller and smile mischievously. "Game on."

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After a few rounds of Super Smash Bros., and Kenma have beating me to death each time, we finally decide to stop. "Told you I'd beat your ass." I glare at him. "Shut up, I did better than I usually do. Playing with you pays off. I get better since I play with someone who's so good at gaming." He shrugs and turns the TV and console off. "True, but I'm getting better too, so you'll never catch up to me." "Whatever you say, but maybe I'll start playing games on my own and get some practice in." A dramatic gasp leaves him. " You wouldn't dare." "Oh, but I would." He puts the controllers up, looking back at me. "It's not like you have time to play games, not like I do anyway." "Eh, maybe I don't, but I'm going to come around more often so I can just play with you." He sticks his tongue out at me, and I just laugh. These are the moments I've missed... These silly little moments we always used to have. There's this feeling I get when they happen, I can't explain it, but it's almost a warm and calming feeling. I don't want that feeling to go away.