What About Me?

Shattered Things- Chapter Six

(Just gonna add that Kenma is gonna do something under the influence of alcohol, the drinking age for Japan is 20, he's 18 or 19, we don't talk about it until l a t e r- Aaand, I just thought about it, but his dad left when he was in middle school his parents divorced and the dad moved. His dad wasn't the best but eh)

TW⚠️: Self Harm, Blood

Kenma's POV

Me and Akaashi head back to my house with the food. It was a quiet walk, but he knows that I won't talk until we're at the house. I never like to talk in public areas where I might breakdown, hence why I hated for Kuroo to see me all upset and how I ran away- in public.

Once we get there, we start to eat and I explain things that have happened in between bites.

"So, I'm supposed to go to his place tomorrow and Nakio will be there too. Again, I have no problem with her, I just can't get over Kuroo."

"Oh, so that's why you didn't want her to touch you?"

"Well... I was already anxious, and I just feel like she doesn't like me, as a person obviously, and that she's just doing nice gestures because I'm Kuroo's quiet and weird best friend. I know that's not what she really thinks, but I can't help but think that myself."

"Well, by the looks of it, she just wants to get along with you and be your friend. I don't think she's just being nice because you're Kuroo's friend, but because since she knows that you two are close, maybe she wants to be close as well." I sigh and finish my food.

"Well, I would love to be her friend, but again, I just don't like her just because she's with Kuroo, AND I HATE THAT! I shouldn't dislike someone because of who they're with... Gosh, I just hate myself-" Akaashi wipes his mouth off and shakes his head.

Heh-, I talked negatively about myself in front of him, whoops-

"What did you say?"

"Nothing- I'm gonna get a shower-"

"No no no, you're not going anywhere. You don't dislike her, you're just jealous. I thought you could've figured that out by now."

I just look down and my hands.

"Yea, I know..." He sighs and I look up to see him smiling softly.

"Just take a shower and rest for the day, if Kuroo tries to call you or anything, I'll deal with it. Ok?"

"Alright, thanks Akaashi."

"No need to thank me."

"Whatever, you're still gonna get thanked. Go ahead and get settled in the guest room " I smile and say.

He nods and says a small thank you before I walk off.

I grab a pair of comfortable clothes, a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and sit them down on the counter. I turn the water on to let it get warm then look at myself in the mirror.

I didn't even notice that there were bags under my eyes, not as bad as they are anyway.

Maybe resting for the day will help...

I turn some playlist on, put my dirty clothes in the hamper, and get in the shower. I try to wash up quickly so I can get out and lay down, but I stand there and let the water run over me.

Will I ever get over him...? Will I ever accept the fact that I will never be with him? And why do I have a feeling she's using him somehow...?

I shake away the thought and decide to start washing my hair.
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After I get done in the shower and get dressed, I hear Akaashi on the phone.