What About Me?

Bottles and Memories- Chapter Eleven

Kenma's POV
After last night's event and dinner, Akaashi and Bokuto said what they wanted and went off to sleep. All they had to say is that they're proud that I was able to stop myself from going any further and happy that I'm doing fairly well. I'm proud of myself. I didn't let myself get all mopey and all that good stuff.

I didn't go to sleep right away, I cleaned up the mess I made, putting everything back where it belonged, then I laid down on my bed. I just laid there. Staring at the ceiling as usual, I didn't even think about anything either. I simply laid there, in my own silence.

Then said silence became too quiet, and I started listening to some music, falling asleep to it. Now, my phone is charging since it was almost dead when I woke up. I'm surprised it wasn't dead to be honest. I'm also surprised Mito isn't in my face, waiting for me to feed him.

I made the mistake of feeding him when I get up because he always tries to get me up and going now. It's actually not that bad of a thing. It's like an unset alarm, and I don't need to sleep all day anyway.

So now that I'm awake, I get up and go to feed Mito before he riots and scratches the hell out of my face. As I'm doing that, I hear hushed movements in the kitchen. I go to see who's awake, and surprisingly it's Bokuto.

"Oh, good morning Bokuto." He yawns before speaking with a tired voice.

"Good morning." I almost laugh at how tired he sounds, but I contain it.

"What are you doing up this early?"

"Well, I woke up having to use the bathroom, and was too restless to fall back asleep. Kaashi is still sleeping cause he was up for a bit in the night." I slightly frown wondering if it's my fault he stayed up.

"Don't worry, everything is fine and he's okay. It was a long day with the houses and everything, he was a bit overwhelmed and needed to let it out. Everyone needs to have those moments or they just break to the point where they can't put themselves back together again." The frown disappears from my face and a smile replaces it. He's totally right. If we don't have those moments, it all becomes to much. The glass that was half full becomes so full that it overflows.

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I know I'm a handful, I don't exactly make things easy, I'm trying to get better at that. But, I've put a lot on Akaashi. I've made him my ultimate therapist friend. I feel bad for that, I need to lighten up a bit and back up. I know he wants to help me, he always asks me how I feel and for me to tell him things, but sometimes I think I have too much to say, things that are not normal for lots of people to hear. He may never think that I have too much, but I don't want to put it all on him anyway.

It's probably a good idea to do therapy.

At the same time...

"Yea uh, main problem is I have a childhood crush that I can't get over, depression, anxiety, and uh I hate myself :D"

Sounds quite stupid to me- but I could get help with the depression and anxiety.

The depression stemmed out around the time I was in middle school. My parents had fought a lot. Everytime I came home from school, they were fighting. I could hear it when I made it to the door. Sometimes I would just go in, sit my stuff down, and go to the backyard. And if I wasn't outside, I was inside playing games.

My dad hated that.

He hated that I stayed inside a lot. It's not like I had any siblings to play with, and he never made sure I did go outside. He never played with me. If he did, it was when I was smaller. The only good things that happened between us would've been when I was a little kid.