Every Day

Chapter 1: Realizations

It was the day I realized I loved Jack. No, that's a lie. I think I loved Jack the day I met him. Sadly, the day I realized I loved Jack was also the worst day of my life.

That evening, we were sitting in a café one evening, drinking our coffee quietly, one of the only two people there. I was admiring him as he sipped his coffee, sitting happily in each other's company. He looked up at me, the sun coming through the picture window, illuminating his brown eyes, his golden hair glowing in the sunset. His lips were smirking at me, like they knew something I didn't.

I must have been staring for a long time, because he reached his hand up and waved it in front of my face. He grinned as I jumped, and took another sip of his coffee.

"Something nice to see in my eyes there, Cal?"

I scoffed, pulling my mug towards me shyly.

"Just your eyeballs, Jack." I replied sarcastically. He laughed dramatically, tossing his head back slightly, leaning in his chair.

"Oh, Cal, you're a hoot." he sighed, and set his cup on the table. I laughed as well. As he leaned back towards me, trying to act cool, his elbow hit his cup and it fell over, spilling coffee on the table. He yelped, and snatched the napkins from another table to clean it up.

"No Jack," I teased, "you're a hoot." He just rolled his eyes humorously as he cleaned up his drink.

I suddenly noticed a lone napkin, blown by the fan on the roof, drifted quietly to the floor, landing without a sound. I bent down to retrieve it, and was met with Jack's hand underneath. He was bent down, doing the same thing. I blushed and Jack pulled his hand away. We had never touched before. Not like this. That was hard to comprehend, considering we had known each other forever.

"Jack?" I questioned, ready to say it. I spoke slowly, and Jack looked into my eyes curiously. His auburn face grew pale, and his eyes were bright. I began to speak, and he dropped his beautiful bronze gaze.

"Jack, we've been inseparable for the last year, with everything we've been through, and we've known each other for as long as I can remember, and- and I don't know about you but I'm ready to-"

"Cal, I don't like you." Jack interrupted quickly. My heart dropped, hit the floor, shattered to pieces. I went over the last sentence I had said, did I say something wrong? I just stuttered softly,

"What?"

The sun dipped behind a tree, and the golden, beautiful moment was lost. Jack wasn't making eye contact. We sat there in silence, and I numbly reached for my coffee, but it was cold. Jack took a deep breath in.

"I'm sorry... Callie. I don't feel the same."

He called me Callie. Nobody calls me Callie, except my mother.

Just Cal.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. In our silence we could hear someone get up from their table, pay, leave the café, get into their car, and drive away, and then by that time I could think. I was thinking at such a rapid rate I didn't care if I hurt him, I wanted to hurt him with my words.

"But what about all the times we spent together? What about Hawaii? Jack, we have a bond, can't you see that?" I was yelling, and I didn't give a damn.

"Or when you gave me the necklace? What was that for, huh, Jack? Because from what I could see, it was love! Actually, while we're on the subject,"

I reached up to my neck and undid the necklace, and dropped it on the table. The gold circle charm with the letter 'C' pressed into it laid defeated on the table, and all I ever wanted was to put it back around my neck, for us to forget about this, to love again. But that wasn't going to happen. He stared at the charm, tears running down his face. But I wasn't finished.

"You were just leading me on, Jack. And for what? Fun? Or, or-"

"Callie, stop,"

"No, Jack! You need to sto-"

He stopped me by slamming his hand down on the table and jabbing the necklace back to me with his hand, with a quick, almost violent movement. The charm almost fell in my lap, but skidded to a stop in front of me. I let it sit on the table, I didn't touch it, in defiance of him.

"I don't love you anymore!" he yelled, and a barista came running out from the desk to stop us.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said politely, but Jack was already gone, a twenty-dollar bill sitting crumpled on the table for the barista, which paid for both of our coffees. I sobbed for a minute in my chair, but a look from the barista told me it was time to go. I stared at the necklace on the table. Part of me wanted to throw it in the garbage, or even a lake. But it had too much history behind it. I quickly put it back on with tears in my eyes, then picked up all my stuff and raced to my car, my coffee already paid for by the guy who told me he didn't love me.

I sat in the parking lot, alone, the sun setting, darkness surrounding me. It was cold, but I didn't start the engine.

I picked up my phone. My screensaver was a picture of me and Jack, eating ice cream on a park bench in the summer. I was laughing, being silly, but Jack wasn't looking at the camera, he was looking at me. Summer was my favorite season. It was Jacks too. But now it was winter, and I was alone, without him. I fumbled for my keys and started the car. I sobbed, and felt defeated, and helpless, and under all those emotions was a seething anger. So I used that anger to slam my hands repeatedly against my steering wheel, which made me feel insignificantly better. Then I pulled out of the parking lot, drove away, and vowed never to go back to that café.