At What Price (Completed)

XXVI

The future is uncertain... but this uncertainty is at the very heart of human creativity. - Ilya Prigogine

#AtWhatPrice26

I was giving him a cold look as we both sat in the coffee shop. My heat of anger went down a bit but I'm still enraged.

He was trying to avert his gaze by looking outside but I kept my eyes on him. 

"Talk." my voice was ice, full of hatred.

He took a deep breath. "I had no excuse for what I did, Claudia. Sobrang..." he shook his head wistfully. "....what I did to you was inexcusable."

Recently, when our eyes meet each other, kunwari hindi niya ako napansin but he had that guilt in his eyes. He's too selfless and passionate, that's why it's so hard for me to see him acting cold. Especially at me. Now, he's in front of me, it looks like that mask of coldness is wavering.

"Buti alam mo." I said with spite.

Matagal kaming binalot ng katahimikan.

Until I can't help but ask. "Why...? I want to hear your excuse." 

His breath shivered, umiling siya muli. "It's stupid. I'm being asshole. I told you, it's inexcus-"

"I don't care. Atleast tell me." Martyr ba 'ko? I was digging the pain even deeper. "I want to know why you suddenly decided to ditch me and act like I did not exist." My voice broke. Napayuko ako, the memories of him purposely ignoring me coming back. Ang sama niya. I have only a few friends, and I trusted him a lot.

I brought my gaze back to him, my eyes misty. "That hurt me a lot, Hadwin. I did not deserve that. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama. Have I ever said something bad to you? Then you should've confronted me. Wala rin naman akong sakit para layuan mo 'ko. I kept thinking I was the one who wronged you, even though you wronged me." Hadwin's expresson even got somber. "That's why I need to know. You owe that to me." I said with finality.

Then something flicked in his eyes, somehow determined. I waited for him... to blurt it out... but he shook his head.

"I — I..." he swallowed a bile on his throat. 

Then he said something I didn't know he ever would.

"I realized I like you, Claudia..."

My jaw dropped.

"... and I was also jealous. Akala ko, akala ko... you're with Cyrus."

I gave him a confused look. "He was always telling me... about a girl. In his past. The way he talks about her... alam ko agad na iba siya. He's really determined to make up with that girl." he paused and looked at me intently. "I knew it was you, and I heard you both. I decided to make way, 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My rage got the best of me. He must've noticed it cause he panicked. "That is so unreasonable, Hadwin! I'm not with him, I've moved on, and I want nothing to do with him. Bwisit ka! You didn't even ask me?" Napaawang ang labi ko, hindi makapaniwala sa kaniya. "You're just... so mean. You claim you're my friend, pero hindi mo man lang ako kinausap. You didn't check for my feelings. You blatantly ignored me! To think that communicating was our thing!"

Napahilamos siya ng mukha. His eyes were bloodshot. "I know, Claudia. And I did all that... after you did so many nice things to me. You surprised me two times for my birthday, tapos ito ang binalik ko sa'yo. That's why I'll understand if we're not friends anymore."

"Asshole." I muttered, couldn't help but curse.

"After ignoring you that day, I wanted to talk to you so bad. But... I was ashamed."

"You should be."

We fell into silence again. His words started ringing in my ears.

"I realized I like you, Claudia..."

He likes me? Did he really mean that? And what of it? Was that a confession?

Matagal kong tinitigan iyong order kong latte, na malamig na.

"Claudia," untag niya. "About me liking you..." he sighed. "This was not how I meant to tell you. I have this crush on you and you don't need to be uncomfortable about it."

"Bakit.. bakit.." It seems like my vocabulary gets limited at these kind of things.

His cheeky grin came out, although I can tell he's nervous. "A man who doesn't fall with your personality is an idiot, Clau. You're admirable."

I looked away. Ang awkward naman.

"Why me? You seem to like Margot.. and Nailea is better at these things."

He pouted. "They're not you. I don't have that connection with them." I felt goosebumps. He really talks as if he likes me. He really likes me? I can't seem to wrap my head around it.

"Ah." Anong sagot 'yan?! Jusko.

"Don't worry, this is just a crush. I won't act on it. We both have our priorities, right? Kung gusto mo, lalayo muna ak—"

"Don't you even think about it!" His eyes widened. Miski ako nagulat.

"Okay." He puts his hands up as if he surrendered. "But be assured I won't do advances to you, Claudia. You're precious to me. I don't want to lose you over these petty things anymore." he grumbled.

We're okay, right? It has to be right now.

"Despite earning interest on a savings account, do you know you will potentially lose money in the bank?" I broke the silence. I saw his lips twitched.

As his smile widened, I feel my heart swelling. "Alam ko 'yan. Dahil sa inflation, di'ba?"

I smile as an answer.

"Do you what sharps are?"

"I think I heard it on a Korean drama."

"Sharps are any item that may cut or penetrate the skin. Needles, surgical instruments, lancets... those are sharps."

"Maybe you'd be a great surgeon."

"A possibility." mayabang niyang saad.

"I still hate you."

"I know. I deserve it." he answered softly.

"I don't hate you. I resent what you did."

He gave me that comforting smile I'm very familiar with.

"I will never ignore you again, Claudia. I'll be your friend... as long as it takes."