At What Price (Completed)

XII

#AtWhatPrice12

Napatunayan ko na namang bobo ako.

Charot. Nadala lang ng damdamin. Araw araw na lang kasi.

It has been days since we had a good night. Hell week na naman. I really can't believe what happened today. Nag-review naman ako. Nasagutan ko din ko lahat ng problems na binigay sa'min beforehand. I'm feeling pretty confident because it's easy. However, iba talaga pag nilagay ka sa spotlight.

My mind just haywired.

Why does it always become more complicated pag recits?

Ugh. Stress.

Even though I feel bad about myself, and I'm feeling terrible about a bad score I've gotten, naubos na yata luha ko sa dami ko nang breakdown.

I just want a milkshake from Shakey's and lie down to watch Netflix until I fall asleep.

And I'm not only the person who was having a bad day.

Margot is crying beside me. Papano ay nacorrupt iyong excel file niya. It was an assignment (sa isa pa naming class) with eleven problems at deadline ngayon. Ang haba pa ng computations non. Wala siyang back-up at dahil don, she has to redo it all over again. Late na siya nakatulog just to work on it.

"I did so bad at the quiz." lugmok na sabi niya. Hinilamos niya ang mukha, blinking to prevent the tears. "I didn't even had the chance to review for this in the very last minute because of that f-cking file!"

Kahit ako naman, maiiyak.

Madaling araw ko na nabasa mga chats niya. She texted me at different timespans throughout the night. I tried to supply her some of what I remember but I think she's too distraught to review.

Margot Éloise Diaz:

Shit shit shit

r u awake?

clauuuudddiiiiaaaa 😭😭😭

fck I'm crying

my assignment got corrupted

i was about to save it na omygod tangina

I cannot f-cking believe this

goddamnit it's so late na I wanna die

I'm gonna go thru all this shit again. Pagod na utak ko tangina naman

Margot? Are you okay?

Did you finish?

I hope you finished and saved it.

Did you review for today's quiz tho? Sorry to ask this but I know it's important

Saktong naging online siya at nabasa niya. Throughout the train ride, kahit na inaantok ako at madalas akong matulog, I kept awake to help her.

oh shit

fuck

I'm so in danger, claud

I didn't.

I was busy yesterday u know that. Tapos dumagdag pa ung kagabi

Goddamnit when will life give me a break

Calm down

Eat breakfast first

I'll give you a rundown. Okay?

but claudia 😭

It has too many f-cking pages

Even if u help me, I'm still in deep shit.

Calm down

Are you eating na? Eat muna

Yes yes eto na

•••

Humikbi pa uli siya. "Thank you. I recognized some of what you said."

I nodded. Damn, I hate this day.

Then she crunched her face, feeling like crying again. "Kaso ako talaga nagkulang eh..."

And they say boyfriends hurt you the most.

Hay. Why is reaching your dreams so freaking difficult?

But I guess hindi lang kami ni Claudia ang nahirapan. I felt the somber mood in the room. Or was it the weather? Because the sun is hiding? Lahat kami, may kanya-kaniyang pinagdadaanan. Margot and I were just one of the stories being created in this university.

Still... all of them isn't suppose to fade in the background of resiliency. They should be building blocks of efficiency and advancement.

"Guys..." a classmate, an officer I think, seized our attention. "We are always told that we could do more, we should do more, we should study even harder. If you ever feel you aren't doing enough, please let me tell all of you guys na you did more than enough and I'm so proud of all of you. Wag tayong sumuko. I can see as excellent CPAs and CPA-Lawyers in the future, sana makita niyo rin 'yun."

Margot cried even harder. Others got emotional too.

It's amazing. The things we do to motivate someone else. Sometimes, you meet angels through the people around you.

Naalala ko tuloy 'yung sinabi ni Hadwin. I guess I need to practice saying it too.

I took Margot's hand and said softly, "I'm proud of you."

•••

A/N: the classmate who gave a speech were the actual words of my own classmate. It was so beautiful and it's hard to pick what I should include. Mahaba pa iyon actually, and it was so heartwarming. She gave that after two major subjects in accounting too 😅

Sana, katulad ko, napapaligiran kayo ng mga taong sumusuporta sa inyo. If you ever feel alone in this battle, Claudia, Margot, and Hadwin (and Me!) believes in you.