My Professor's Affair

Chapter 50

"Victoria loves me."

I stared at the space. "Me. Me. Me. Victoria loves me." I kept on repeating myself.

"What the fucking hell..." Madeleine blurted out and put the bowl down at the table. "Tell me... Where? When? Is she here in the country now? How about Peter?".

I sat back down on the couch and took a pizza then she was glaring daggers at me.

"What? I'm hungry." I took a bite and answers her, "In Paris. Today. Or was it yesterday. It's messed up... Anyway, she's there. She just stormed inside Aunt Amanda's dress room and she looked for me."

"What? How could she?".

"Same thing I thought. I don't know about Peter though. It was just her." I said and shrugged and ate the whole slice. "Fuck I'm so hungry."

"What do you- what do you feel now?".

"Still hungry." I say and was about to take another slice but Madeleine swatted my hand.

"No! I meant with her coming back? That was the whole reason why you came here in the first place. To finish school, take over your parents business and find Sandra, right?".

"What's there to find? I found more than what I'm looking for." I said and took the slice of pizza again. This time, succeeding, ate almost half of it in one bite.

"Oh my god. So are you?-".

"Yes I love her too. I know it's fast but you've seen her right? You know her, right? I mean just look at her- imagine her. Seeing her walk, smile, frown, write, cook, roll her eyes and don't start me with the voice."

I finish the slice and looked at Madeleine again and I find her gaping at me.

"What? It's not that I'm being creepy about it." I said and frowned at her.

"Trust me, it's creepy but fuck! You love her?".

"I do. There are times that I almost said it but it's just- you know I'm afraid to. I never even tell Sandra how much she meant to me until we decided to end the relationship, right?".

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for?".

"I want her to know that I love her but it's not the time you know."

"I don't know, you bitch. But for me, nobody really has the perfect timing of saying 'I love you', it's just so different. Like, what if this is the only time you can say those words to that person?".

"Wow, here you are giving me advice."

"Don't be a bitch. You should have known better by now how important those words are."

"What? Bitch?".

"No! The I love you's".

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I love her. I don't want to say 'i love you' when I know that she's not ready and I'm not even ready yet. When I say 'I love you' that means that I am going to spend my life worshipping that person. So no, I have to be able to accept myself first and get over what happened to me. I need her to know that. I want her to know that. So that she won't even think for a slight second that I'm with her because I'm using her to forget my past."

"I know. I'm sorry for being such a bitch about it."

"It's okay Maddie. But you know what?-". I then looked her in the eye, "I want to get better with her on my side."

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"Does your mom know that Sandra is back already?". Madeleine asks as she stand up from the couch and grabbed the empty bottle of wine.