Michael's Room: The Worst

Chapter 21

Jhene

I'm laying on the couch in the living room watching a movie while eating some cookies and cream ice cream. I'm so sad and I feel terrible. I feel really bad for what I did to Michael.

Did he deserve it?

Yes, but this isn't like me.

I'm not like this and I shouldn't of called him over here to have sex because that just brought up more feelings and more memories again, and I can't take it. My heart can't take this pain anymore. I need to try and stay as far away from him as possible. I want nothing to do with him. I can't keep doing this to myself. I have a child to think about and I need to stop stressing over Michael.

Who am I fooling?

No one.

I'm an idiot who's still in love with a guy who broke my heart. Who used me. I'm still in love with him, and it's so damn hard to let him go. I hate that I love him. I wish there was a way for me to erase him from my mind and heart. I hate him and love him at the same time. I try to hate him more, but my heart won't let me. I definitely shouldn't be feeling this way, especially after everything he put me through.

So why do I feel bad for using him when he did the same exact thing to me?

Why do I have to be so fucking in love with him?

   ~•~

It's been three weeks and I haven't heard from Michael since. Don't know what he's up to and I honestly don't care, it's not like I need him anyway. It's Friday night and I'm at home watching a scary movie. It's one of those old time horror movies, it's a really good movie and I love watching it. I use to watch it with my dad when I was little, it scared the hell out of me though.

  ~•~

An Hour And A Half Later...

The movie is over and I'm so exhausted. I turned off the tv and cleaned up the living room and the kitchen. Once I'm done, I turned off the lights and as I'm about to head upstairs, the doorbell rings. I sigh and roll my eyes as I walk over to the door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's me... Michael." I make a face and hesitate a bit, wondering if to open the door or not. I look through the peephole and saw that he has his head down. A couple of minutes passed and he's still standing there, he knocks on the door.

"Please open the door, Jhene." I sigh softly and unlock it. I turn the knob and pull the door open, revealing Michael wearing all black with his hands in his pockets.

He looks... good.

I bite down on my lip as I look away from him. He's just standing there staring at me with those big beautiful brown eyes. We're both standing in silence, and it's so awkward.

"Um... aren't you going to let me in?" He asked. I hesitate for a while as I started questioning myself.

Should I let him or not?

A little voice in my head said that I shouldn't but then another voice said to let him in. One part of me doesn't want him in because I feel like I'm about to make another huge mistake. The other part of me just want to pull him inside with me and let him hold and comfort me all night. He then clears his throat, breaking the awkward silence and snapping me out of my deep thoughts. I look up at him and swallowed hard.

"Are you letting me in or not? It's pretty cold out here." He says, shivering a bit.

Yeah he's right, it is cold and I don't want him to freeze to death.