in honor of Hinata shoyo of the Karasuno parking lot.I cannot say shit.This entire chapter.
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Ep 02: THE JOB OF A HIGHSCHOOL HOST!
[Scene: At school, in spring. Haruhi is studying at the library, when she realizes that it’s time for her host club duties. She makes her way to the club room.]
Haruhi: They’ll give me a lot of grief if I’m late.
[Action: Haruhi opens the club room to see that it’s transformed into a summer paradise.]
Haruhi: (Thoughts) Where… am I?
Host Club: Welcome.
Ade: Hi Haruhi!
Emely:About time ya showed up...We were worried.
Haruhi: (Thoughts) Opening the door, I found a tropical paradise.
(Thoughts) Mother in heaven… This is the Ouran Host Club that I joined last week.
Twins: What? It’s just Haruhi? You’re late.
Haruhi: (Thoughts) According to the calendar, it should be early April right now.
Tamaki: Fearing the chill and curling yourself up in a kotatsu is nonsense!
What do you think we have this flawless air conditioning for?
Haruhi: Tsk.
Kyoya: Is there something of the club’s policies you want to criticize, O’ Haruhi-kun, who owes us an eight million yen debt?
[Ade was about to launch herself at Kyoya only to be pulled back by a leash tamaki had put on her when she wasnt looking.]
Ade:What the hell?!
Tamaki:A good man should not bundle himself up, even if it is early spring when the world is freezing. At this club, we want to receive those freezing kittens with a warm tropical paradise aura! Yes! Today, this place is the ultimate paradise! A hot, hot island of everlasting summer!
[Tamaki pulled Ade into his arms and squeezed her until she slapped his arms repeatedly,She took several deep inhales.]
Ade: I could have died you overgrown toothpick!
Tamaki: Sorry, Mama.
Ade:if you really were sorry you'd get this stupid collar and leash off of me...I'm not a house pet.
[She muttered, sitting on the floor.]
Haruhi: Actually, I feel cold in various ways.
Tamaki:Ouran Private Academy is defined by, one, prestigious families, and, two, wealth. And prosperous people who have much time on their hands. Therefore, this Ouran Host Club is about these handsome guys, who have time, giving hospitality to these lovely ladies, who also have time.
It’s an elegant game unique to this super-rich school.
[A while later, Tamaki flirts with his customers as Haruhi pours tea.]
Tamaki: This is such cruelty.
This skin as sleek as ivory… This ceremonial dress akin to the King of Bali’s…But before my goddesses, I can only succumb and am nothing but a loyal servant.
Girl 1: Tamaki-kun…
Girl 2: Tamaki-sama…
Girl 3 :Wow…
Ade:...weirdos..
[The girls turned to face her, startling her]
Ade: I uh..mean...Nya?
[she posed causing the girls to let out small squeals of happiness]
Tamaki: Yes, yes… Next week is when our Ouran Host Club’s dance party takes place.
