"Oi mista if we fucked how long would it take for everyone to find out we did?"
The gun wielding stand user shrugged."Depends on how obvious we make it- why do you want to?"
"Eh- dont know but what if we make it somewhat obvious who would be the first to find out?"
"probably Giorno or Bucciarati, Then It would he trish, fugo and abbachio then Narancia would be the last one to know"
"I think that bruno would tell Abbacchio and that's how he'd find out-"
"true true and Fugo is smart so he might also figure it out and Giorno would probably find out by stumbling into the conversation Bruno and Abbacchio were holding" Ade sat up. "Do you ever get worried that someone might just reach into your pants and just shoot your fucking dick off?"
"Not really...no one is brave enough to try so y'know"
Ade nodded."What do you think I taste like?"
"what?" he picked his head up and looked at her.
"if I were to be a type of ice cream flavor what would I be?"
"idk probably something like banana-"
"why though?"
"cause like banana is good but you dont see it often making it hella special"
"Aw you think I'm special! I think you would be mint choclate chip..cause your cool as hell and sweet too" she nodded.
"Narancia is obviously orange."
"nah hes more like mango hes too sweet and majority of oranges aren't that sweet"
"what kind of fuckin oranges you be eating?"
"regular fucking oranges what the fuck do you mean?"
"Is every orange you've eaten sour?"
"no but narancia isn't sour so he wouldn't taste like fucking orange!" she got up and flicked his nose.
He also stood up."I dont know where this is going"
"neither do i!" she through her arms up.
She froze and blurted out."What if you could shoot bullets out of your nipples but you've never tried?"
Mista blinked slowly."holy shit what if I can!?"
Giorno walked in."the heck are you psychos talking about?"
"WHAT IF MISTA/I CAN SHOOT BULLETS OUT OF HIS/MY NIPPLES?!" They screamed simultaneously.
"he'll never know until he tries but dont hurt yourselves weirdos" Giorno shook his head.
"Bro you gotta try!" Ade shook his shoulders.
Mista nodded he pulled his sweater crop top off and threw into onto Ade who pulled it off and tossed it aside because it stank.
"Mista wait you have to shower first to the bathroom!" she hopped onto his back and slapped his ass."Vamonos!"
Mista reluctantly agreed.Ade sat on the edge of the sink because mista forced her to stay with him in the bathroom."gotta wash your hair too pendejo"
She used her stand and yoinked his hat off then started washing his hair much to his dismay. "relax mista soon enough you'll be able to smell as good as everyone else"
He yoinked open the curtain causing Ade to scream."Oh you're fine-" she muttered.
"why the fuck wouldn't I be?"
"because you are being cleansed" She got off of the sink and took over in washing his hair sending her stand away.
she combed his hair back and threw his clothes into a washing machine."If you put on a hat I'm beating you to death" she threatened. Minutes later he came out dressed in what he had that was clean because the rest of his clothes were in the wash. Ade raided his closet and went to wash his clothes.
he was stuck in a tank top and sweatpants.Ade looked him up and down."damn you look good- I did good high five me" she clapped.
"I have to show Giorno my accomplishment! Hermanito! DiGiorno come here I gotta show you something!"
the blonde reluctantly came back."what?"
"look!" she showed mista off like a trophy."he's clean!"
"way to go I guess-" Giorno turned and left.
"Fuck you too digiorno this is why I like delivery-" she crossed her arms.
"wanna go test out theory?" Mista put an arm around her shoulders
"which one?" she patted his tummy.
"I dont remember"he shook his head "nevermind let's go watch some stupid shit on netflix."
"aight" she shrugged.
not even half way through whatever they were watching Ade got distracted and started messing with mista's tummy."your tummy is always exposed but it never gets any love...why?"
"I dont know" Mista shrugged he was too focused on lilo and stitch to realize what she was talking about.
That is until Ade started leaving random kisses in his tummy.He looked down."What are you doing?"
"lovin the tummy cause no one else does" she said,smiling up at him.
Mista rose an eyebrow at her actions but he kept his mouth shut and went back to watching lilo and stitch.
Ade eventually got bored and fell asleep with her head on mista's lap.
"weirdo-" he looked down at Ade and smiled, before going to watch another movie.
Eventually he also fell asleep and like the parents they are Abbacchio and Bruno took pictures.
(bruno is a karen)
Much later...
Narancia kicked open the door of the living room."MISTA AND ADE FUCKED?!"
Various nods and 'yeas'were seen and heard."hah fuck you Giorno you owe me 20 bucks" Ade said holding her hand out to the blonde.
Giorno glared at her and gave up the 20 dollars."fuck you"
"mista already has snooze you lose gio" Abbacchio high fived her and then wiped away a fake tear."I'm so proud" he said.
"hell yeah therefore this means that this ass is mine" she got up and fucking slapped mista's ass, clap was so loud the ground shook."damn boy you're thicc as hell whatchu doing out here with all this ass!?"
Mista turned around, turned her to face everyone else and squeezed her chest."this right here is my pillow and my pillow only"
Ade reached behind her and pulled his gun out if his sweatpants and ran off with it."CANT CATCH ME BITCH"
"I FUCKING CAN HOE"
"PROVE IT PENDEJO"
"ALRIGHT I WILL"
they proceeded to chase each other until they were out of sight.
"Jesus fucking christ they're chaotic.." Giorno sighed, only to have Abbacchio tell him to shut the fuck up.
🍒I've fucking lost it🍒
