Ade is used to always being depended on never dependent. (soldier au)
🍒Finally something that had nothing to do with jjba or any other anime/show/movie🍒
So when she suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat from traumatic flashbacks she has no idea what to do she doesn't want to wake anyone up. She manages to sneak around the house silently but one particular memory keeps appearing and it makes her sick to her stomach and as she runs to the bathroom she breaks a vase that makes a loud noise that alarms the others. She tells them not worry about her and that she's fine but in reality she isn't.When everyone has left she shuts the bathroom door and locks it close,she then had flashbacks that make her ill to the point where she is throwing up.She is shaking, her nose is runny and there are uncontrollable tears running down her face and sobs that wracked her body. She's angry at herself for breaking down like that. She told herself that there was no reason for her to be crying or feeling sick.
"I've put up with worse damn it get up and quit crying already" she was pulling at her hair. She got off the floor her eyes stung and they were puffy and red. She stood in front of the sink and glared at herself in the mirror."Look at yourself you're pathetic sobbing in the middle of the night because a nightmare woke you up what is wrong with you?!You're making everyone worried it should always be the other way around!"she huffed at herself.
She had gotten so worked up that she blanked out and snapped back to reality when she her hand was in pain.She broke the mirror she punched it and bow there was glass stuck in her knuckles."Fuck!" she hissed,feeling tears well up in her eyes again she tried blinking them away but failed miserably.
She looked at the broken glass and drops of blood strewn around the bathroom sink."I have to go find a first aid kit and tweezers" she sniffled.
Little did she know there was someone by the door listening,silently sobbing. It was Emma, she was one of the volunteer nurses who had managed to save Ade and many other soldiers lives during the war.
Ade wiped her eyes.'come on soldier toughen up..What's more important one life or millions?' played through her head."millions sir..My brother will be missed but hes not important right now...I have direct orders my men and I will follow through with them until we all die" she stared at her hands. 'go on then give 'em hell Roman'
Ade nodded and opened the door only to hear very quiet sobs. She looked at the noise and saw Emma."Mi vida?what's wrong?" she went to go wrap her arms around the girl only to be pushed away."How could you do that to yourself!?" the shorter girl looked up at her."I dont care who told you what but it's ok to lean on others when you need them you cant carry the whole world on your own shoulders! You'll kill yourself that way! Leo is in a goddamn better place he's looking down at you and he's fucking proud!"
Ade involuntarily started sobbing again."I'm sorry.."
"you have absolutely nothing to apologize for" Emmawiped away her own tears before wiping away Ade's.
Ade held Emma's hand against her face. After Emma spoke she froze and realized that she was right and that it was ok for her to depend on others just like they depended on her.
"let's go fix up your hand and then clean up this mess." Emma took her non injured hand and led her to Elijah's room.The shorter girl knocked on the door and Ade looked down in shame."I'm an idiot-"
"no you're not, you're a person with a troubled mind ..your body doesn't know how to deal with all the trauma causing you to breakdown this way"Emma said,Elijah opened the door, he was another person who volunteered to nurse soldiers back to health."what happened?" He let them in he told Ade to sit in a chair and Emma sat on the edge of his bed.
Ade squirmed uneasily.She didnt know how to admit what was wrong with her without feeling odd and as if she were doing something wrong.She held her injured hand up."I broke the mirror..."
"why?" Elijah asked going to retrieve the first aid kit he had in his closet.
Ade shrugged causing Emma to sigh."You have to tell him it'll help or I'll get scott so you'll talk to him"
"and if I refuse?"
"that's the thing you can't"
"what's gonna happen if I do?"
"you'll suffer consequences"
"what consequences?"
"Stop talking back soldier that's an order"
Ade flinched and nodded."Yes ma'am"
"now tell him that is also an order"
Ade hesitated before spilling out as much as she could before breaking down again.when Elijah had patched up her hand she thanked him and went to leave the room only to be shoved back into the seat.
"Continue" Emma said.
Ade fidgeted with her dog tags and Leo's as well."um...I haven't been getting much sleep because things like this keep happening..I usually calm down after insulting myself in the mirror...I dont know what happened I blacked out and when I snapped back into reality the mirror was broken."
"I know I have PTSD and get terrible flashbacks but they've never been this bad...I dont kn-know what to do with myself anymore-" she croaked, fighting back more oncoming tears with sniffles and biting her bottom lip."I want them to go away I want to sleep again I want to stop hurting how do i stop hurting?" she stood up and looked at both emma and Elijah like a kicked puppy.
They both felt god awful they really wanted to help her but the only way they knew how was through therapy.She wouldn't like therapy.
Getting her to be vulnerable in front of her was a difficult task getting her to be vulnerable in front of a stranger is going to be harder.
"we'll talk more about this tomorrow..do you need someone in the room so that you can sleep or will you be ok?"
"I'll be fine" she thanked elijah again. Emma also thanked him and said she was escorting Ade back to her room.
when they got to her door Ade wrapped her arms around emma and buried her face in her neck."Thank you.I love you, princess" she let go of the shorter girl after kissing her cheek.
"do you want me to help clean up?" Ade asked, emma shook her head."rest easy soldier we have a busy day tomorrow" Ade nodded slowly and walked back into her room to try and sleep again."maybe I should let my guard down...a little bit"
She stared at the portrait of her brother."But look at where doing that got me...Its my fault your gone..I should've been more alert.." she muttered."I'm sorry Leo.."she fell to her knees, her hands were clenched into fists and her eyes were glazed with tears."I'm so sorry.."
Leo's spirit was kneeling down next to his sister he had engulfed her in a hug but she of course didnt notice because she cant feel him.It upsets him so he tries to get her to notice by squeezing harder but it doesn't work which makes him feel bad as well.
"Damn it I wish you were here right now..." she held onto the dog tags tightly."I miss you so god damn much.."
to be continued...?
