behind closed doors

Run away

Sapnap put on black sweats and a white t shirt. He looked at himself in the full body mirror that hung on the wall. He tugged at his long hair to pull it out of his eyes. He was a mess. The purple eye bags plastered his under eye, his skin was pale and stained from the salty tears. He slipped on a jacket to hide the bruises on his arms he got from falling in the shower. He looked around his room for his white headband. "Shit" he muttered. He had lost it. It used to be an old guitar strap of Wil's. But his mother redesigned it so Sapnap could wear it all the time as a reminder of his best friend. He creeped into his mothers room where she was still fast asleep after her night shift and took a hair tie and from the top of her dresser. He walked back into his bedroom pulling his hair back to get it into a man bun. Sapnap groaned as he pulled too tight and snapped the hair band. His door creaked open and his mother stood in the doorway holding another band between her fingers. Sapnap sat down so his mother could reach the tall boys head and his mother gently pulled back the hair once again and quickly tied it into a bun. "It just takes practice" she said giving his a reassuring smile and heading off back into her dark bedroom.

He walked in the warm thick air down the road leading up to his school. However he paused half way there. "What the fuck am I doing?" Sapnap said to himself. He looked into the distance and saw the groups of teens laughing and joking together. He spun on his heals and started walking the other way. His walk turned into a fast walk, then he started running. His legs were getting tired as he ran through places he didn't recognise, he didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to get as far away from everything as possible. He ran for what felt like hours, across quiet and busy roads, through fields and parks, until he eventually reached a place that made him stop dead in his tracks. In front of him lay a large round pond, small waves formed from the small breeze as ducks swam peacefully around in circles. He recognised it. The pond him and his dad used to go fishing at when he was very young, the pond where Sapnap and Wilbur would make boats and see which one got the furthest, the pond where Sapnap boat sank and he got upset so Will gave him his, the pond where Sapnap accidentally fell in and Wilbur stood laughing, the pond where his parents had their first argument... and last. The pond were it all fell apart. The same lonely bench stood at the other side of the pond to Sapnap. He remembers finding out about his parents divorce there, it was the last time he would ever see his father, he wish he knew at the time, but he was just too young to understand anything.

He sat on the bench for hours staring at the reflection of a stranger in the water, he didn't recognise himself at all.

As it reached 5 pm his mother started to get worried at where he might be. She went to the school to ask if he was still there. The reception told her he hadn't been in all day. His mother panicked. She grabbed her phone as she called Sapnap over and over, her car keys rattled in her other hand as she ran back to her car. She looked at her other contacts for any help. Wilbur. The call rung and rung, as his mother was about to give up when she heard a deep "hello" come from her phone. "Hey is this Wilbur?" His mother asked as she tried hold back the tears that had formed in her eyes. "Ye what's wrong" Wilbur responded, sounding panicked as he detected the panic in her voice. "Nick has gone missing do u have any idea where he could be" she spoke quickly. Wilbur sat thinking for a while. The pond he thought tell her he's at the fucking pond his mind spoke back to him. "Um i have no idea sorry" he answered and quickly put the phone down, sighing deeply as he sunk into his chair. "Who was that?" techno asked. "No one it's fine" Wilbur answered simply as he carried on chugging the rest of his beer.

Sapnap finally looked at his phone. The time read 10 pm. He looked up to notice the sun just setting over the buildings. He then looked back at his phone to notice he had 169 miss calls. 168 from his mother. One from Wilbur. He pressed on his mothers contact as it begun to ring, it had not even called twice when his mother picked up. "Sapnap oh my god thank the lord your alive where are u please don't ever leave again i was worried sick". "Woah mom please slow down" Sapnap said quietly as he rubbed his head, only just acknowledging the fact that he had the worst headache. "I'm at the pond" Sapnap mumbled. before he knew it he heard the rattling of car keys and a car engine start up. he cried and cried as he continued to vent to his mother about everything he had done. he couldn't stop. he told every little detail as his sobs got louder and louder. everything that happened with Wilbur, school... Karl. "i love him mom I really do"

the car ride home was silent. he had nothing else to say, he had said enough.