More Than I Bargained For

Chapter Twenty-Seven: This Love

[AYNSLEY'S POINT OF VIEW! NOTE: THE REST OF THE STORY WILL BE IN HER POINT OF VIEW!]

[[PLEASE listen to the song to the right------->

It goes REALLY well with the first part when Aynsley and Grady are talking...thanks!]]

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Bye love," I said.

"Bye," Drew said giving me a peck on the cheek and waving as he left.

I closed and locked the door behind him, sighing deeply.

I'm really happy to be back with Drew. I really, really am. But there's just this nagging feeling, deep down inside me, that won't leave me alone.

"I didn't know he stayed over," Grady said walking down the stairs, slipping on a clean white t-shirt.

I breathed in deeply through my nostrils. "Um, yeah. I didn't know you stayed over either."

"Yeah, there's a lot we didn't know," he said, narrowing his eyes at the ring on my finger.

I crossed my arms over my chest self conciously. "Can we talk?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Sure."

We walked to my room in silence, with a decent amount of space between us.

I left my door wide open as we walked into my room. I sat next to him on my bed.

"Where's Mom?" I asked.

"Errands," Grady explained.

"Oh," I said.

Cue moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Um, there's something you wanted to tell me or..?" Grady trailed off uncertaintly.

"Oh yeah," I said blushing and stammering. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean? With what?"

"With...us? Or the non-existent us?"

"Us?"

"Technically there isn't an 'us'. But I don't want it to be super awkward every day for the rest of our lives when we're around each other."

"Keep in mind you avoided me."

"But we both are wrong. It doesn't matter who avoided who, we need to talk about this. About everything."

"Then talk. Speak. Go ahead, I'm listening."

"I love you, Grady. You know that. But...this hurts." I blinked back tears. "Watching you with her everyday knowing what I know, and feeling how I feel. I don't know how much longer I can go on with this façade. It's too hard."

"Aynsley, you're talking like I don't understand how it feels."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do. Everyday...everyday, I wake up wondering what could have been. What might have been. What should, shouldn't have been. I wake up with regrets, Aynsley. And meeting you is not one of them. I'm grateful for you, and everything you've done for me. I have never loved someone the way I love you. And it seriousy breaks my heart knowing we can never be together."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"Now you know. However you feel with me and your mom, is how I feel when I see you and Drew. He's one lucky bastard; he gets to wake up to you every single morning. Even though we cannot be together, my feelings for you will not go away overnight. They won't go away over weeks or even months - and I have to admit that. I have to do the best I can, because it's not fair to your mother. And I try. I try SO hard." His breath caught in his throat. "Everyday I struggle to hold it together."