if loving you was easy ~meddison~

4

 
    "Meredith?" Izzie enters her room quietly laying down directly next her.
"You haven't been at work in two days you have to go to work you cant play sick everyday." Meredith rolls over to face Izzies concerning face.
"I don't want to see anyone or him Iz I can't"
"Listen to me this isnt the end of the world Mer get up and go to work and be a geat surgeon."  Izzie stands pulling the blankets off of Meredith.
"We are going to be late lets gooo!!" Izzie says as she makes her way out of the room.

At work

      "Oh Meredith! GoodMorning." Richard speaks as he enters the lounge grabbing a cup of coffee quickly making his way out.
Can this day just be over. Derek and I broke up, I went off on Addison. Stupid Meredith your so stupid. Meredith continued to think over her cup of tea when the click of hills grew louder down the hallway.
not this today. She thought. Addison enters the lounge quickly noticing Meredith. With no hesitation she shuts the door softly quickly locking it behind her.
"Addison." Meredith speaks cautiously. Addison does not speak instead she goes to the counter where she pours herself a cup of tea. She turns her eyes scanning the empty lounge until they stop at the seat next to Meredith. Taking a seat she sips her tea silently.
"Addison?"  Meredith curiously says.
"mmm"
"Addison." She says once more.
"You can't just sit and exist in silence can you." Addison looks up from her journal making eye contact with Meredith.
" I cheated on you " Addison says softly closing her journal. Meredith feels her eyes getting teary at the thought.
"You were on a work trip that weekend. I went out not for the thrill but to go out and not be the girl who is sitting there missing their wife with every piece of them. Trying not to be that girl that is needy or whatever. So I drank until i couldnt drink no more."
"Addison stop i dont want to hear about this"
"I drank until I couldnt anymore so I called Eliza for a ride. When we got home she helped me in put me in my bed and left me there. I don't remember anything after that I thought I fell asleep but when i woke up I woke up to my clothes on the floor and her next to me." Meredith shifts uncomfortably never taking her eyes off of Addison.
"You don't remember anything? Meredith speaks her voice shaky.
"no. I got up and grabbed clothes locking myself in the bathroom where i noticed hand marks on my arms and wrist. I broke down in the shower for awhile and I blamed myself for drinking and I pulled it together. When I came out she was in the kitchen so I asked what happened." Streams of tears now fall from Addisons face. Meredith places her hand softly on her arm.
"She said I invited her in and wanted to. So I asked about the marks and she said I made her get rough with me. When I started to explain that i didnt remember that is when she got violent. She said she wouldnt be blamed for nothing because i wanted it and she went to her room packed her bags and said she was moving out. Then she left me there." Addison sniffles looking down at Merediths hand thats placed on her arm.
"Why didn't you ever tell me any of this?" Meredith says calmly.
"Because what if she wasnt lying what if i did engage with her freely and i just cant remember." Addison begins to cry harder placing her face into her palms.
"Addison."
"Addison, look at me" Addison wipes her face looking up.
"It's okay. Your okay we are safe with each other remember." Addison smiles.
"THERE SHE IS!!!" Meredith mocks. Addison chuckles as she speaks.
"I hate you sometimes" Addison playfully hits Meredith arm and could tell she was elsewhere.
"Meredith whats wrong?"
"Did you ever stop loving me"
"Did I ever stop loving you? How could I Mer. It has always been you." Meredith starts to tear up as she turns away.
"You could have told me. You should had."  Meredith gets up quickly as her pager goes off.