if loving you was easy ~meddison~

never forgotten

Addisons Pov :

Scattering frantically I search the room for my articles of clothing it all hit me. Alex Karev I just had hot steamy sex with Alex Karev. Meredith can't find out it would crush her and I can't be the one to hurt her again. As I quickly pull myself together footsteps grow loud followed by a harsh knock on the door as it slowly creeped open.
"Meredith is out of surgery figured you should know" Cristina says a look of disgust across her face.
"Yang its not what it-"
"Don't respectfully just don't" Cristina turns making her way out of sight. Slowly I creep from the room she had just left behind her leaving Alex where he rest.

Merediths Pov :

Waking up I instantly feel eyes on me turning slightly I see Derek to the left of me by my bed side.
"Hey" I say not knowing what else to say because there is so much.
"Hey, you feeling okay" Derek says standing up softly brushing back my hair.
"Bumer she's awake" Cristina jokes as she enters the room insantly stopping when she sees Derek.
"Oh i'll go. I'll come back" She says quickly.
"Yang! Stay I have to check on a patient" Derek reassures her before placing a kiss on my forehead and making his way out.
"What's going on there?" Cristina laughed throwing herself down into a chair.
"He's so good Cristina Derek is good"
"Mer so are you." The room fell silent. Observing the halls I hear the familar click of heels. There she is I watch as she interacts with the nurses at their station. Looking over I see Cristina was no longer in her chair maybe I fell asleep. Addison turns her eyes landing right on me I couldnt help but notice she didnt look as put together as she tends to be. Quickly she turns making her way down the hall.

* a few days later *

"Mer if you need anything call me I will be there everynight when I can okay?" Cristina reassures me as I get ready to head home.
"Cristina im going on bed rest for a week I will be okay"
"She will indeed" Derek says as he approaches my room. Derek was the last person I wanted to ask to take me home but his scheduled was free today and we are still friends right.

Derek dropped me off and was paged not long after what am I going to do all alone for a week. Thursdays are usually not long for Addison I really wish we could talk because we never been good at doing so. This is wrong of me but I know it will get her attention.

M: 911 Addison
A: Meredith are you okay?
A: Meredith?

*Missed call addison*
*Missed call addison*

She is going to kill me but I have to see her. I need to see her.

Addisons pov :

Come on Meredith answer the phone.
A : Meredith answer right now!

She messaged 911 and shes not answering. My mind starts to run like crazy I have to go see if shes okay for myself.

-Merediths house-

Come on Mer open the door. Twisting the door knob slowly I see it's unlocked softly I make my way inside making my way up the stairs.
"Meredith its Addison" I called out but no response I make my way to the end of the hall. Preparing myself I turn into the last doorway on the left quickly I spot Meredith balled up in her bed.
"Meredith?" I say hoping for a response but instead she shifts pushing herself up against the headboard her eyes meeting mine you could tell she was upset and had been crying.
"Are you feeling okay? Is everything okay I didn't know what to bring I-"
"I'm fine Addi" My face quickly turning red as my blood boils. Shes fine? Why the hell would she message someone 911 if she is fine. Looking at her in this very second I couldn't stay mad. Tears begin to trickle down her face once more no telling how long she had previously been crying. She stands slowly wincing in pain making her way to where i stand.
Her eyes study me before she turns making her way to sit back on the bed.
"Who was it?" She asked her eyes never looking up at me. Cristina must had told her so I cant lie to her I can't cause her more pain.
"Mer who was who?" I question out of curiosity.
"You looked like you had thrown yourself together a few days ago thats not like you. Had some fun with someone?" In this second I knew Meredith knows me better than I know myself.
"Im sorry" I make my way to her sitting at the edge of her bed.
"We werent together anyway remember"
"I love you too" This stumbled with ease out of my mouth. I do love her but did I mean to say it now.
"Addison I-" Just as Merediths eyes meet mine keys fumble down the stairs.
"Meredith Meredith" A mans voice echos down the hall meredith stands making her way from the bed.
"Meredith you weren't answering my calls I was worried"
"Im I- am okay derek" Meredith says softly as derek wraps his arms around her.
She chooses him. Meredith made her choice and with that it was time for me to go. Quickly I make my way from the spot Mer had left me sitting on the corner of her bed booking it towards the door.
"Addison." Meredith says breaking free from dereks warm embrace. Moving steadily I make my way down the hall.
"Addison dont you fucking leave me again" My heart sank looking back our eyes meet. Mcdreamy he sure is dreamy I get why they call him that now. She will be okay I reassured myself as I walked away from the woman I always wanted but never deserved.