This is War [ONC 2021] // Honourable Mention

Chapter Twenty-Six - Kurt

Kurt fidgeted with his rosary beads, spinning them around his hand and listening to the whispering of the other men. Men sat together in huddles, going over the plans for the assault that they were due to partake in over the next few days. Everything had gone into the assault that they hoped would push the British back further and ensure a German victory before the year was out.

Every once in a while, a short burst of gunfire would echo through the trench as the machine gunners worked to mislead the British forces. Kurt buried his head into his coat, pulling his helmet low over his eyes to try and block out the sound of gunfire. His hands shook and he just wanted it all to stop, the gun-fire, the war, all of it. If this assault worked, the war would be over and that was what Kurt wanted more than anything.

"What are you doing in this assault?" Wilhelm asked, nudging Kurt with his foot. Kurt moved his coat down and lifted his helmet off his face to look at him.

"I'm staying here, I have to guard the trench, just in case," Kurt said.

"So we'll be seeing you once all of this is over. Johannes and I are part of the first wave going into the attack."

"If you're going in, why am I staying here? We're part of the same Regiment."

"It was my idea." Johannes walked into the dugout and dropped his rifle onto his bed. "I asked the Hauptmann if you could stay behind."

"Why?"

"Marie wrote to me, said she was worried about you and I think she's right. You're really jumpy, and I don't think we can trust in the field without you clamming up. It's better you stay here, with any luck we'll be able to push the British forces back without you having to fire your gun. The Hauptmann agreed because he thinks you'll be a liability in the assault."

No one spoke and silence filled the dugout. Kurt looked to his friend who refused to meet his eye and even Wilhelm tried to distract himself with something else. He was supposed to be the one looking after Johannes, making sure he made it home safely since he had promised Marie he would before they went to training. Instead, he was the one being treated like a child, confirmed to the trenches because they didn't trust him to not freeze in the middle of the battle.

He had gone to war excited for what was to come and now he was being forced to stay behind because they didn't trust him on the field. Although Kurt welcomed the idea of staying and potentially not having to fire a single shot for the entire assault, he didn't like the idea that his friends no longer trusted him. They must have thought of him as a coward, a wimp who couldn't fire a gun without his hands shaking. A liability to the entire German forces.

Kurt hated the man he had become in his year in the trench. He hated how he reacted to gunfire, how he couldn't squeeze the trigger without seeing that man's face and watching him fall. How could he call himself a hero, a protector of his country, if his own friends no longer trust him in battle? He joined the army to be a hero, to show he was more than a country boy, but he had become a shaking wreck who just wanted to go home.

"I suppose someone has to stay behind to protect you from getting hit," Kurt said, trying to make light of the situation.

"Right. Our life is in your hands," Wilhelm said.

"You fight the battle, I claim the victory." Kurt laughed. "I need to go and see where I'm supposed to be watching. I'll see you both later."

Wilhelm nodded and Kurt grabbed his rifle but didn't put it on his shoulder. He slipped out of the dugout and into the main trench, following the path down towards the area that had been marked for him and one of the other privates. Kurt had been paired up with one of the newer men, someone who had never fought in a battle before. It was humiliating to think that his friends didn't trust him to have their back, but he couldn't blame them. He jumped if someone coughed too loudly.

He reached his guard point and rested his rifle against the side of the trench, looking through a gap in the sandbags and towards the British trench. It was strangely quiet on the other side, with little to no reaction to their gunfire and barely a sound from the men inside. They might have been planning for a large assault, but Kurt had a feeling that the British were doing the exact same thing. Still, he hoped they would get there first and the war would be over.

Kurt listened to the men around the trench, his rosary beads hanging from his hand. He had never been all that religious, but war had changed that and he prayed for a swift end to the conflict. With a battle on the horizon, Kurt pulled his family photograph from his pocket and ran his fingers over their faces. If was going to make it home, he had to do it for them.

Further across the expanse, a short burst of gunfire came from the British trench. Kurt jumped and tucked the photo and his beads back into his pocket. As soon as the gunfire started, it stopped again and silence fell on the trench. The men moving around him in the trench stopped and turned towards the other trench, many of them confused as to why the British would offer a short burst of gunfire and nothing else.

"What are they playing at?" someone said behind him.

Before anyone could respond, a second burst of gunfire started but this time, it kept going. A few seconds after the first gun started to fire, a second one joined in a little further down the trench.

"Get to your position!" the Hauptmann yelled. "The British are launching their own assault!"

The men in the trench scrambled to move down and offer extra protection to those being fired on further down the trench. Kurt grabbed his rifle and swung it up to the gap between the sandbags.

Would he be able to pull the trigger if he had to?

~~~

First Published - February 28th, 2021