Rubatosis | San mafia au

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 15

TW// PTSD and flashbacks.
Please read the paragraph below.
We, under no circumstances, are a reliable source of information about PTSD or the struggles people with PTSD face. We did as much research as we could before writing this, but please understand that everything may not be correct. This story is a work of fiction and can be incorrect in some instances. If you are triggered by PTSD or intense scenes and writing, please skip this chapter. We will put a summary of what happened as a "SUMMARY" chapter, which we will do for anything that contains a TW. That way the story still makes sense for those who weren't able to read the chapters containing possible triggers.

Thank you, enjoy!

Y/n POV:

I was getting ready to go out to the Ateez house. I told Johnny I was going to go to Riley's. She offered to drive me to the Ateez house and cover for me. As I was about to walk out the door, Johnny stopped me. I turned around and looked up at him as he smiled, "I'll pick you up at ten, is that okay?" I nodded, giving him a small peck on the lips before walking over to Riley, who was waiting for me on the curb.

We pulled up to the Ateez house. Riley wished me luck and told me she would pick me up at 9:30. While walking up to the house, Wooyoung appeared and smiled. "Wow, you made it." I chuckled. "Barely, I had the jitters so bad I'm surprised Johnny didn't notice. He smells fear." Wooyoung and I both laughed. "Y'know, for being his girlfriend, you sure talk shit a lot." I nodded, "Well, it's been kind of hard not to."

"That makes sense. I'm sure talking to Hongjoong will help you come to a decision." He smiled. "We'll see."

He opened the door for me, but I walked into chaos. Wooyoung's eyes opened wide as he hurried past me and into the house. Jongho ran through the living room and stopped in his tracks, looking over at us. "What's going on?" Wooyoung asked. Jongho's eyes flickered over at me and back at Wooyoung a few times before he answered. "San is in a flashback." Wooyoung cursed under his breath as the chaos continued. "Stay here." He ran down the hall, and I stood where I was. Hongjoong jogged into the living room a few minutes later, "Sorry, Y/n," He apologized. "It's okay. What's going on?" I asked. He hurried into the kitchen, grabbing a full glass of water. He didn't answer, and it wouldn't surprise me if he hadn't even heard me. His body was running on high adrenaline. San was the only thing he cared about, and rightfully so.

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at me. "You might be able to help." He said before walking over to the hall, "Whatever you need me to do." I said. "Come." I nodded and dropped my bag on the chair, following him into one of the rooms.

San was on the floor, the members holding onto him to make sure he didn't runoff.

As I crept closer, San lunged forward and punched Mingi, fighting the others as he tried to break free from them, begging for them to let him go. "San, we can't let you go until you calm down," Yeosang said. "Why can't you let him go?" I asked. Hongjoong looked over at me, "Last time we let him go, he ran outside and nearly got hit by a car."

"What do I do?"

"Talk to him." I walked towards him. His eyes were closed tight, his breath heavy and ragged. "Guy's ease your grip," I mumbled. They were hesitant but did as told.

As I said his name, he took notice immediately. He was still frantic but slightly distracted. I sat down next to him, "Open your eyes," I said softly. He started to struggle again. I looked up at Hongjoong, "where's that glass of water? Bring it in here." He nodded and ran out to grab it. Sans head was on the floor, and as his body jolted forward and back down again, I caught his head in my hands. He flinched but settled down. I slid my legs under to lay his head in my lap and ran my fingers through his hair to try and comfort him. Hongjoong came in with the water, handing it to me.

"San, open your eyes," I encouraged softly. He reacted to my voice but still kept his eyes closed. "He hears you," Hongjoong smiled. "He hears me, but he isn't going to listen, so I'm gonna have to do it this way." I picked up the water and poured it over his face. He gasped and sat up, coughing as he came out of the flashback. Mingi left and came back with a towel.

San and I went into the living room while the others dried up the water and took care of the small mess. San was still catching his breath, and he was still shaking and jumpy, but he was calming down bit by bit. I grabbed another glass of water and brought it over to him. I sat down on the floor by the couch. "Why are you sitting there?" He asked. "Well, my pants are wet from the water. I don't want to ruin the couch."

He set the glass on the table and sat down on the floor next to me. "I'm sorry you had to see all that." He mumbled. I turned towards him and smiled. "You don't need to be sorry. I'm just glad that I could help." He seemed embarrassed but nodded. "Thank you."

There was a piece of lint in his hair. As I went to pull it out, he looked over at me. I didn't realize how captivating his eyes were up until now. "There's something in your hair." He huffed a laugh before looking forward again so I could grab it. As I pulled it out of his hair, I heard a small sniffle. He wiped his eyes and sighed. "Sorry, I'm-" He couldn't finish. I set down my glass of water and rubbed his back. "It's okay to cry," I said. He shook his head, "I don't wanna cry in front of you." He choked out.

"I admire you, y'know." He seemed confused as he looked down at me. "You just went through something terrifying. I can't even imagine how exhausting it must be. And yet, you're able to hold it all in. I would be bawling my eyes out right now." We both laughed. "I know, I haven't been around, but I'm here for you now." He nodded, and then he broke. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed into them.

I sat there next to him, rubbing his back as all the built-up emotion left him.