Rubatosis | San mafia au

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝟣𝟨

𝕪/𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕧:

San had been resting for a bit, the rest of the members soon joining us in the living room. Hongjoong called me into the kitchen.

"Thank you for helping, Y/n," he smiled.

"Of course, but I wanna ask, how did you know I was going to be able to help?" I asked.

He sighed, "There was a girl in his past that he was close to; you remind him of her." I nodded. "So, I heard you needed to ask me for some relationship advice?" I chuckled, "Yeah, kind of." He smiled. "So what's up?"

I didn't know how to speak my thoughts aloud. "I don't know where to start," I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

"That's not a good sign."

"I know," I huffed. Hongjoong walked next to me and leaned against the counter. "Talk to me Y/n."

"I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. Any time I have to ask for something, it feels like it's the biggest deal." Hongjoong nodded. "Have you tried talking to him about it?" He asked. "Not really. I've said it when I was frustrated or when we were in an argument, but I've never sat down and had a heart to heart with him about it."

"I think you should start there," he said. "I'm too scared to."

"Let's go talk to the other members, okay?" He rubbed my back before walking back to the living room.

I sat down on the floor as Hongjoong took his seat on the couch. "Why are you sitting on the floor?" Hongjoong asked. "I have water on my pants."

He sighed, "Please, you don't need to sit on the floor! Water won't do anything! Worse things have happened to this couch." Hongjoong chuckled. "All the more reason to sit on the floor," I replied. Everyone laughed a little.

"Do you mind if I sum up the situation with Johnny?" Hongjoong asked. I nodded. "She feels like she is walking on eggshells around him but is too scared to bring it up." He explained.
Everyone's aura seemed to change a little. The atmosphere became tense but at the same time sympathetic and comforting.

"Then why are you still with him?" San spat. I scoffed, "It's not all that easy, San."

"Why not? If he makes you feel that way, then why are you still with him?" He asked again. "I'm scared for a reason..." I said before I looked away and back up at Hongjoong. "Why are you scared?" Yunho asked. I opened my mouth for words to come out, but they never did. "Do you know why?" Yeosang chimed in. "I-'' that was all that came out. They seemed to understand.

"Are you afraid he will hurt you?" Wooyoung asked, coming down to sit next to me. I nodded. Everyone looked at each other for a moment, Wooyoung holding my hand in his in an attempt to comfort me.

"He gives me this look anytime I ask him something or try to talk to him about something that he doesn't appreciate. He looks at me like he could snap me in half if he wanted to." San sighed, stood up, and left the room. "Was it something I said?" I asked.  Seonghwa spoke up, "He is just overwhelmed. As emotionless as he may seem, he hates seeing people hurt." I nodded; Seonghwa didn't talk much, but when he did, he seemed very wise. His voice was soft and silky; it had a calming hum to it.

I sighed, "I still-" I stopped. "You still love Johnny..." Jongho chimed in. I felt tears start to tug at my eyes, "I do. It's stupid because I shouldn't. I don't know what to do. I became so desperate for answers I came to you guys. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have poured this on you. I'm lucky you guys are even willing to listen to me in the first place."

I covered my face with my hands and let the tears fall freely down my face. "Y/n, when you first started dating Johnny, we knew you were going to disappear. We talked about it a lot, and we promised each other that if you ever came back needing help, we were going to be there for you."

I nodded, wiping my face with my sleeve. "Thank you, guys."

My phone started ringing. I sighed, picking it up. "It's Riley. Hold on a sec," I said, standing up and walking down the hall. "Riley?"

A/n!!
Hello everyone, we are terribly sorry for the inactivity. Chapter 17 will be coming out soon! (Actually soon this time I promise ;P) The next few chapters coming up are going to be intense so definitely keep an eye out!
Thank you for your patience!
Love, Autumn and Zero