The Governor (Del Franco #1)

Kabanata XIII

Hell

Nikolas was stunned. He was just staring at Yvanna, confused. She averted her gaze away from him and sighed deeply. 

"What did you say?" Nikolas asked. Ang tono ng kanyang pananalita ay medyo mariin, na para bang hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinabi ng dating nobya sa kanya.

"I said I'm leaving."

"Why? I thought you were--"

"I'm tired already, Nikolas. I'm nearing thirty and supposedly, I should have kids right now. But because of my job, I decided not to have a family because I know any moment they will be in danger because of me. Hindi ko kayang makita ang pamilya ko na malagay sa panganib ng dahil sa akin," she said, not looking at him.

"I thought once I became a journalist, I will immediately get the justice I'm looking for my father. After that, I will marry the love of my life and have kids at the age of twenty five and move on with my life. But why I'm still here? Why am I not moving? Why am I still the Yvanna that I was years ago? Why am I still in love with you?" aniya at muling tumingin sa Gobernador.

"Pagod na pagod na ako, Nikolas. Pagod na ako sa sitwasyon ko," dagdag niya pa at doon na lamang niya namalayan na siya'y humahagulgol na pala. 

"Yvanna..." He gently wiped her tears using his thumbs. 

"I wanna go with you," he told her which made Yvanna's heart skipped a beat. 

"No, Nikolas. You can't and even if you can, your father will not stop until he gets back to you." 

"Wala akong pakealam."

"So you're going to be selfish? You're going to let the people around you be in danger because of your decision? Ganoon ba, Nikolas?" Bahagyang tumaas ang boses ni Yvanna.

"I can't imagine my life if I don't have you--"

"Fuck you, Nikolas!" she yelled at him.

"Paano mo nagagawang sabihin 'yan sa akin ngayon gayong tinanggihan mo ako noong sabihin kong magpakalayo tayong dalawa?" Mas lalong tumindi ang pag-iyak ni Yvanna. Para bang nanumbalik ang araw na pinipilit niya si Nikolas na umalis. Na tipong handa si Yvanna na kalimutan ang nangyari sa kanyang ama dahil sa labis na pagmamahal kay Nikolas.

"Yvanna, I wasn't ready..."

"Eh putangina, kailan ka ba naging handa?" Hindi nakasagot si Nikolas sa sinabi nito sa kanya. Hindi tuloy napigilan ng binata na mapatanong sa sarili. Kailan nga ba siya naging handa para sa kanyang sarili at kay Yvanna?

"See? You are not ready, Nikolas, and I wanna take a risk. A risk that you're no longer included." Pakiramdam ni Nikolas ay ilang ulit na pinalaso ang kanyang dibdib sa sinabi ni Yvanna sa kanya. 

He's hurting.

"You're going to run away?" 

"If that's what you call it, then I am," mabilis na sagot ni Yvanna sa Gobernador. Binalot ng nakabibinging katahimikan ang kanilang paligid. Tila ba walang gustong bumasag ng katahimikan sa pagitan nilang dalawa.

"You know what? I actually thought that you're going to be my husband, the father of my kids, and the person I am going to go old with. Kahit nga noong naghiwalay na tayo, umasa pa rin akong baka pwede pa. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, pagsubok lang 'yon at magagawan pa ng paraan. But you turned your back against me, Nikolas. Iniwan mo ako sa ere noong mga panahong kailangan na kailangan ko ng kakampi laban sa ama mo. I almost died because of loving you and when the reality slapped me, I finally realized that even heaven and hell touched each other, we can't still be together. Tapos biglang isang araw, papasok ka ulit sa buhay ko. Ano ang tingin mo sa akin? Isang karenderya na laging bukas para sa'yo? Ganoon ba?"