La Reyna de León (Queen of León)

Chapter 5

I got my shit together. Once again though of what my dad taught me.
"Never let your enemy get to your emotions. Maintain confidence and control. Because without control there will be chaos. Never let them get into your head." I could hear him say it in my head. I hat to take my dads saying and do this to my uncle. I don't want him to get to me again. Have control. I though to myself.
An hour later the guards came for me. They took me into the driveway and I got into the passenger seat and my Uncle was in the driver seat. He drives off. "I can tell you didn't sleep last night." He said.
"How did you know?" I said.
"That's the start off this life. No sleep. Feeling paranoid." He said. Again he was trying to get into my mind. He knew that's exactly how I felt last night. I could feel an anxiety attack comping but I maintain control. Have control. I repeated to myself in my head. "I could see it in your eyes from the morning. I was or still am the same way. I never got use to it." He said. My face was emotionless. I made it to be hard to read. But the thought of my family haunts me every second. I missed them so much. I concentrated on my breathing. Breathing in and out slowly. Have control.
"Now is the time to show you the real life of this business. People think it's easy, but it's much more than drugs and money. People think it's easy to take a life and move on with your life. But it's not. It goes on with you every second of your life. It haunts you. Something me personal I have to live with. I can't sleep because of the nightmares. Sadly I have to show you that kind of life now." He said. Me taking a human life? I could never even if I had to I wouldn't. My uncle suffering from nightmares from killing people got me thinking. I was going to be the same way. Not being able to sleep because of the fear of seeing the peoples faces I've killed. Their screams of pain in my ears all the time. He drive up to an abandoned warehouse. It's old and rusty and gave me suspicions on what they did in that warehouse. We both got out of the car and into the warehouse. It was dark and a bit humid inside. We going to the middle of the warehouse where a few men stand around what appears to be someone in a blindfold. Reminded of me in the blindfold when I first came here. "Take his blindfold off." My uncle said. One of the men took it off and revealed a man. He seemed to be crying. "Please, don't kill me." The man said. I knew this was going to go bad and I did t want to be a part of it. I didn't want to witness this mans death. "Shut up!!!" My uncle yelled. The man looked down to the floor. I could feel his fear as it was my own. Making me shake. "You joined our cartel knowing you out with our enemy. They sent you didn't they?!!! So you are their spy?!!!" My uncle said as he beat the man up. Blood spilling from his mouth and nose. Going all over the floor. "Awnser me you mother fucker. Your the spy? From the 12th street cartel?!!!" My uncle shouted. "Yes I am!!!!! Please stop!!!" The man pleaded. My uncle stopped and pulled out his gun. Locked and loaded he looked at me. He handed it to me. I could feel my anxiety travel up my spine. "I'm not going to kill him." I said. "Yes you are. Remember what will happen if you don't. Your family will die." He said. I got me again. He's using my family as a weapon against me. I knew now I had to do it. Because if I didn't he would actually kill my family. I was hesitant but walked forward. Killing in the name of my family wants what I wanted to do, but I had too.
The next thing I knew I was holding the gun. I was shaking. "Point the gun at the traitor." My uncle said to me. I stared at the man tears running down my face. But my face was stone cold. No expression, but tears rolling down from my eyes. "Please don't shoot me!!!" Said the man. Crying in front of me. "Point the gun at his head." My uncle commanded. The two guards picked the man up into a kneeling position in front of me. Now we were face to face. Staring at each other. The man was sobbing uncontrollably. "Do it now." My uncle said.
So I did. I pointed the gun at his head. Shaking as well. For the sake of my family's lives. I just thought to myself that my dad had to do this as well. Take lives. Maybe that's why when he would sleep I could hear him scream from their room. He also suffered from the nightmares. "Shoot him." My uncle said.
I looked into the mans eyes. His face was wet from his own tears. "Please!!!!! Please don't shoot meeee!!! I promise I won't tell anyone!!! Just please don't shoot me!!!" The man said.
"Spy's are not to be trusted Maria! Shoot him now!!!" My uncle yelled. I looked at the man with my eyes full of tears and uncontrollably shaking and said "I'm so sorry, but I have to do this." Then I pulled the trigger. The bullet goes through his head. Blood splattering all over the floor and onto me. The man falls on the floor. I could see his face and his eyes. Like they were staring at me. I drop the gun. I'm in a state of shock. I couldn't move at all.
"I didn't think you were going to pull the trigger. You had to do it. He was a traitor for giving out information to our enemies. Without control there will be chaos. Never let our enemies get to use. This should show our enemies we have control. Show them what will happen if they mess with us." My uncle said. I look at him straight in the eyes. "I just killed someone. This man could have had a family for all we know. I'm no one for taking a life." I said.
"This proves if anyone wants to keep their family or themselves alive they don't mess with us." He said
"But it's a life. Maybe they didn't have a choice like I did!!!" I said to him. "Like I said it was time for you to learn what it feels like to lead this business. Now we must leave and go back home." He said. He orders the two guards to dump his body in the 12th street cartels territory as a message not to mess with us. My uncle dragged back to the car. The car ride was silent. As I looked at the mans blood all over my shirt and hands. I thought to myself. I just took a life. Then I started to think that it was the only way. I had to.