Deception {Dreamnotfound}

31 | New Returns | 31

-Clay's POV-

George isn't here.

Even after he left so suddenly, I was certain that he'd come back. That when I returned he'd be right here, waiting for me. Or distracting himself from me, considering what happened the last time I saw him. Either way, I knew that he'd be here.

And yet despite that, our room is empty.

No part of me had considered the possibility he may not come back. Not once had the thought crossed my mind, and I would've disregarded it immediately had it done so. No part of me thought he would leave.

This doesn't make any sense. George should be here, moping around out room waiting for me to come back and apologize to him, in typical George fashion. Like he always does when things stress him out. He goes quiet, leaves, and always returns.

He always returns.

I think back to the last time George did this. To the time in the market square when he told me I didn't understand. He told me that I 'didn't know what it's like', to which I told him he was being dramatic.

In that anger is when George opened up to me, spilling out all of the emotions he'd kept to himself. It wasn't until after he left that I realised how suffocated he was by his problems, and how much the bad memories still clung to him.

George's past has always tried to hold him back. Troubles only made worse by his amnesia sunk their teeth into him, clawing at his mind and refusing to let go.

It made sense, in those few minutes that followed, as to why George is who he is. When you're forced to watch someone be hurt by themselves, watching old memories resurface in the hopes of submerging them once more, you start to notice the not-so little things.

His own head tried to drown him, to block out the light and tell him nothing will ever change. That everyone is the same, and he'll never find anyone different. That nobody wants to be the exception, wants to show him that people aren't all the same.

I wanted to be the exception; I still do.

Now I'm making it worse.

What I just did goes against everything I told myself I never would. I promised myself that I'd always protect my soulmate, and I know I always tried to do that.

Even then, George knew I had good intentions. A part of him seemed to realise that even before he walked away, making him understand what he shouldn't have to.

But there's a line. A line between trying to protect someone, and trying to stop them completely.

This world is dangerous, and George knows it. He dealt with it by himself for long enough, learnt to survive on his own. Out in the forest, where he knew how to stay safe. He didn't have me, and was under the impression he didn't want his soulmate at all.

It's now that I realise: George was never in any danger until I appeared.

He was fine until he met me, and was forced to return to the city. Techno attacked for the first time around then, I remember it clearly. Then came the elite assassins, and Illumina, and every other person who's tried to harm George since.

All because of me, I'm the one that makes this harder for him.

To tell him what I did was insane. I knew that George wanted my help to heal, looked to me for comfort whenever the walls started to close back in on him and the memories came back. When he thought the amnesia did him some good by making him forget, and he couldn't be reminded of the awful things that happened.