Inner Space

I wish this was about bowling

I know sometimes I can be a little too much. I know that now. I understand what needed to be. I get what I had to realize. I wish I could put into words what it is I feel exactly. I don't know why I cried so much today, I'm not particularly sad. And I know I miss you but it won't even be long till I see you again.
I wish you would text me back so I could fall asleep.
It isn't your fault that I'm like this.
I just have a hard time sleeping at night without you.
When we got our own blankets I was worried that it would somehow ruin us, and that needing any kind of thing for yourself was only going to lead to the end. I do that sometimes. Overthink and reason something that isn't even remotely true.
It's funny that this could be about bowling. Because sometimes on nights like tonight I think about our work christmas party at that bowling alley, when you saw me across the room and I felt your eyes notice me when I felt invisible.
You texted me later and asked if I was okay, I think some part of me knew even then that I was a goner.
I hope you sleep well.
I wish I could tell you that but I've already sent so many texts now I probably won't.
I think about you. About how you must feel. I'm sorry I haven't always been there.
I'll never go as long as you'll have me
I just hope that we can make this last forever.
I haven't done much at all today but I had a great nap and I ate good food.
I'm trying to learn to look at life differently now.
Not with rose coloured glasses but with the realization that everything and everyone is temporary. And just enjoy it while it lasts, because it doesn't.
I dunno how I went there.
I wish I was talking to you
Why is it so much harder to talk in person anyways?
I don't know if sleep will find me
If it does I hope I dream about you and one of our normal days like earlier.
But don't get me wrong, as much as I miss you, I'm happy
I think this was good for me
Good for us
Better because space makes things better
We can experience and then have new stories to tell each other when we don't live the same day together everyday
Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm very content with our life. But it's nice to have new things to talk about.
Anyways
If this was you I'd say goodnight
But this is about bowling, remember?
I'm really bad at bowling.