Blurred Clarity| Yoongi (SUGA) Oneshots

Agony Pierced My Mind Many Times~ (pt.1)

Yoonjin. Cross-posted on Ao3 (linked) 7.5k words.

Warnings: Child Abuse, sleep deprivation, homophobia, extreme religiousness, depression

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Yoongi would never consider his father abusive, in the most common sense, at least for most of his childhood. He hadn't physically injured Yoongi, he wasn't an alcoholic, it was just enough that he could tell that his father didn't like him. It was obvious, he could tell that neither his mother or father cared about him the way they did his younger siblings.

His father was a doctor, his mother was a lawyer. Both of them are smart as shit and wealthy as fuck. It was clear they expected Yoongi to follow in their footsteps. From a young age, he was taught that his grades were everything. That in order to have a successful life he had to get good grades, be respectful, and not get in fights at school.

Yoongi didn't even mind school growing up, it was nice, his friends were nice. His favourite class was always music though, he always loved to hear the sounds, even in 4th grade he wanted to see just how intricate he could make his music sound, using the recorder. Playing the recorder in 4th grade was his favourite thing to do. Sure, it was high-pitched, sure it was difficult to get right, and sure he didn't want to play when he grew up but it was fun and he liked fun things.

He practiced at school as well as at home, until his father barged in, grabbed the recorder and threw it at the wall. He shouted at him about how "he should be studying and not wasting his time with some damn recorder"

Yoongi did not practice the recorder at home ever again.

Middle school for Yoongi sucked. Everything about it was awful. He was in entirely advanced and intellectually gifted classes where he felt out of place, there was no music program at the school he was attending and he had to make new friends because a bunch of his left to go to another school. Not to mention his dad, oh my gosh his dad.

Suddenly, what was once a distaste towards Yoongi turned disgust. His mother wasn't much better. It wasn't even just like they were bad parents. They loved his younger sister and brother Soomin and Younghyun. They were both treated with the care and affection that Yoongi ached so desperately for. He once asked his father for a hug and was turned down, and then his father had lectured him for 20 minutes about how he shouldn't seek out affection from anyone, and that it wasn't manly.

Yoongi only wanted to be cared for.

When he got to 7th grade he asked his parents for a phone. His friends all had one and were asking when he'd get one, he wanted to connect with them outside of school. He always felt left out of the loop when his friends got together and he couldn't come.

His father shouted at him about how ungrateful he was and that he "didn't need a phone" and "you shouldn't be going out anyways, your studying is more important then that"

Then he promptly took away Yoongi's laptop.

The first year of highschool was much worse then middle school. His mother and father had only gotten worse, and he was miserable. His schedule was AP Korean History, Honors 1 Biology, Honors 2 English and Math, then the requirement for physical education. His electives were only honors courses related to becoming a lawyer or some form of doctor.

Yoongi hated needles, blood and the doctors office, his father demanded he take the courses. He hated being a lawyer, court proceedings were boring, his mother guilt tripped him into taking them.

When he'd planned his electives he originally had intro to music production, a culinary class, psychology, and criminal justice. His father screamed at him about how unbeneficial they all were and how he'd only be wasting his time. He tried to reason with them, "Namjoon-ah is taking music production and Jin-hyung is taking culinary classes. I really like cooking and music, it'd only be two classes, and I'd get to be with my friends!" his father didn't listen to him."Your studying is more important than friends, you aren't going to get anywhere taking those classes so you won't!".