Blurred Clarity| Yoongi (SUGA) Oneshots

My Childhood Dream Is In Front Of My Eyes~(pt.2)

7.1k. Yoonjin (pt.2/3 to the past au)

Warnings: Yoongi's voice in his head is his depression speaking in bold. The voice quickly mentions cutting, and suicide (though neither happen). The voice also has some internalized homophobia. Multiple uses of the term "f*g" 

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"Shit shit shit" 

"Oh my god it's fucking here"

"I'm so fucking nervous"

"Oh my god you have to fucking open it for me"

"Yoongi! Keep your dirty mouth to yourself! And stop pacing before you run a whole into the floor" Jin chastises from the seat. 

"Easy for you to say! You aren't the one with the most important letter of a lifetime sitting on the table in front of you!" Yoongi bites back, continuing to pace nervously.

"You look like you just made out with someone for 20 minutes" Jimin laughs as he walks into the kitchen and sits down at a bar school. Yoongi thinks, belatedly, that he's probably right. Lip biting has always been something he's done when he's nervous and he's definitely nervous now. Honestly they might be bleeding, but he didn't care. He was so anxious.

On the table was the letter telling him whether or not he would be accepted into Seoul National University. He'd already gotten the letters in the mail for Hanyang and Yonsei Universities, but he hadn't opened them yet. He figured he'd open them all at the same time, not that he really was worried about them.

He didn't care about getting into those two. Sure they were nice, well renowned and great schools to go to but they weren't what mattered to him.

He needed to get into Seoul University. Desperately.

Both Yoongi's mother and father had attended Seoul University, it was where the two met. Not to mention, it's the most prestigious school in all of South Korea. He's not sure why he felt the need to be validated by getting in, he's not sure why he feels like he needs to do this for his parents. He imagines it's some form of trauma telling him it's his parents and he should want to please them. Part of him wants to believe that even if he doesn't get in, his parent's wouldn't mind. Part of him wants to believe that deep down his parents love him. Most of his being believes that they won't.

He was confident in his grades, but that didn't stop him from being terrified. 

"Calm down hyungie. You'll get in. You're the smartest person we know!" Tae smiles.

"Yeah, you have a 4.9 GPA! You'll get in for sure!" Jungkook agrees.

No you won't

You know you aren't good enough for them

Yoongi laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, but that's still a point away from perfect. It doesn't mean anything." he pauses "Just fucking open them" 

Jin sighs as he grabs the packet for Seoul University. He didn't even understand why Yoongi applied in the first place, he'd only be proving his parents right if he continued his schooling. His parents didn't even deserve that, they stopped talking to him after he moved out. Though he guessed if Yoongi wanted to go to University he couldn't stop him. 

He opened the orange envelope, glancing at the gold stamp holding it together. Everything about this letter screamed fancy, it screamed best of the best. He pulled out the paper and skimmed it first. 

No fucking way. 

There is absolutely no way Min Yoongi wasn't accepted. His eyes must be betraying him.