Blurred Clarity| Yoongi (SUGA) Oneshots

I've Lived Alone, Feel Alone; I Need Help~

5.k words. Sope (side jinam?? jimin/rm)

 Warnings- depression, suicidal thoughts, (mild-ish) homophobia and (mild) bullying. Big trigger warnings for depression and suicidal thoughts though.

This one is mostly Hoseok-centric, but it's the same universe as the other one that I made.

-

"Everyone has their issues, whether they're big like ours, or small. Everyone has their issues"

"And you Hoseok, are no different. I can tell yours, Suga and Yoongi know it too."

"You care too much, you don't want to be a bother to others. You're the type to bottle up all your emotions no matter how constricting and overwhelming they are, and you only let them show in the comfort of your own home, or once they can't be held inside you anymore."

Hoseok thinks in his head, that Yoonji knows him very well. And he wonders how she was able to guess without him ever telling her.

"Well, I'm doing great, so you don't have to worry!" he smiles brightly. 

He thinks about all the times in the past he's said those words. All the times it's been a lie

-

"Ay man. Are you alright? You look like you haven't slept in weeks." Chan asks, walking up to Hoseok. 

He must look dreadful, if the others at work are able to notice it. They never really talk to him anyways, so if they could see it then he could only imagine what his appearance was.

"Yeah, I'm doing great. Thanks for asking anyways!" he smiles brightly. His chest burns with the lie.

He was doing fine. 

He had nothing to complain about.

"If you say so mate" Chan says, walking away and up to his other coworker felix. The two switch over to English, Australian accents thick through their words. 

Hoseok takes in the rest of his surroundings. Minho and Jisung are talking with Changbin while flourishing their hands animatedly. Hyunjin, Jeongin and Seungmin all sit on the floor holding up a phone watching some K-Drama that Hoseok has never seen.

His heart pangs as he looks at them all holding their own conversations, talking and having a great time. They seem happy, they seem close. He's heard them talking about meeting up over the weekend, since their schedules match up anyways. The group has asked Hoseok to join once, and he had to decline because he was working those hours. They never asked again.

He doubts they were being rude. They were always nice to him during their bits of conversation, but they'd already become friends. They were working together before he got here, they're all younger than him, they all have different tastes than him, he doubts he would fit in with the group.

They aren't close. They aren't close enough for Hoseok to ever admit to Chan that he's been struggling recently. That he hates his life, even though he loves it at the same time. After all, the boy is already a nurse for those struggling with mental illnesses, and why should he stack more weights onto his shoulder.

He checks the time on his phone, and he notes he has three more hours left on his shift. The other boys are loitering around, half of their shifts are over, and the other half are on break. Hoseok's working weird hours. Sometimes he's at the hospital in the dead of the night, when none of them are here, and it's silent. He works at midnight, he'll work at three in the morning, he'll work at twelve pm. He's not picky. So long as he has time to sleep, he can work whenever.