Blurred Clarity| Yoongi (SUGA) Oneshots

I Just Want To Be Happier~

16.7k words. Yoonjin (side namseok/hopemon). Linked beside

(relates to the previous oneshot, but is a stand-alone)

Warnings: Immoral Religion, Graphic Descriptions of Violence, depression, mentions of Eating Disorders, Child Abuse, sleep deprivation. 2 or 3 uses of the term f*g 

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The annual Seoul field trip is what the seniors in school look forward to every year.

This year was no exception. 

An overnight trip where you were left basically by yourself in the capital of South Korea? Literally the highlight of all the seniors years. Between college applications, exams and the overall adulting they had to prepare for, it was something to look forward too.

Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon were all bouncing off the walls at the prospect of being able to go. They would most definitely pick to group and room together during the trip (if they all were able to go).

Obviously, it wasn't free, but that's expected. It was $100 flat for rooming and transportation to Seoul. That didn't cover meal costs, or costs for attractions you wanted to attend. So it was a pretty expensive trip. None the less, they were all thrilled. 

Yoongi was excited to go, but he knew he wasn't supposed too.

His parents had the money for the trip, shit they had the money to let him move to Seoul. They simply didn't find it useful to his education and therefore not something he should do. The only thing they wanted him to do was study. He didn't find the point in the argument, if he didn't go on the trip he would have to spend a day in the lower grades. All the senior teachers were going which would mean he'd have to spend the day going over information he knew forwards, backwards and sideways. 

But they simply would not pay for it.

So Yoongi was paying for it himself. The $100 dollars was pretty much all the money he'd made from his job with half of it going to his father, but it was enough. He probably would spend most of his day aimlessly wandering the city since he had no money for any attractions.

Shit, he was concerned if he had enough money to be able to eat! The hotel served free breakfast and all, but that left two meals out of one day, and he had $10 fucking dollars left over!

The fuck was he going to buy with $10 dollars?

Nothing.

He wished his parents would be nice to him, he wished they would consider him a valid part of the family. He didn't understand why he wasn't respected or given a say in anything that happened involving him. He'd brought up the idea of paying with his own money and he'd been shut down.

His father punched him and told him that anything and everything Yoongi owned belong to him. That the money he had wasn't his, even if Yoongi was the one working graveyard shifts and walking home from work at 4 o'clock even if he didn't want to.

He didn't know when the punches for getting less than an A+ devolved into punches at even the mention of something that his parents disliked. Didn't know when the general distaste his siblings had for him had turned to them not even batting an eye when he entered a room, laughing silently while Yoongi is abused in front of him. They had the power to get his parents to stop and yet they just laughed and told him he deserved it.

He couldn't remember when every conversation ended with "failure", "faggot" or "why can't you be a good son?" All he knew is that he hated every second of living at home.

That he couldn't remember the last time his parents had taken him out for dinner, or let him see his grandparents. They'd come over and Yoongi had to stay in his room all day. He came down once for dinner and he'd been shouted at by not only his parents but also his grandparents, because they knew about Yoongi's 'gayness' and how he was "infected with the sin and lust of the devil".